Monday, September 29, 2008

Mother Warriors

(Don't know what happened, two posts got mixed together-anyway, this is what was supposed to come through)I know that many parents go through a mourning period when they find out their child is born deaf. They feel guilty, they feel like failures because they did not create the Perfect Child. Who is the Perfect Child? Perfect is boring. Raising Jordan amidst my friends with hearing children, I became increasingly more sensitive. My friends spoke of their child's progress, accomplishments, achievements...and I remained silent.
"Oh, my child won the Spelling Bee."
"My child got into private school."
"My child loves doing homework."
I was son can go potty, he learned how to say the "S." So, I shared my satisfaction with my speech therapist and my son. Then, I found the Pediatric Cochlear Implant Circle and they truly understood our successes, even the smallest most insignificant success. It's so nice to be comprehended.

Naomi, one of the founders of the CI Circle and a fellow "Mother Warrior," writes a blog, and this was one of her posts:

He has no damn right to be that bright
Lovin this title and it came from a really good friend of mine and was made in reference to A.
Yeah he is a bright cookie, in spite of my parenting....afterall grown up mature responsible adults don't go around mimicking the voices of the Lego Darth Vader in the cafeteria video off the net, now do they??? well at least one does : - )

So the senior years of high school would be hard enough for any student without a hearing loss. A never does anything by halves, let's just make it even more interesting, let's see if we can have a go at the International Baccelaureate program (IB). The IB has as a component a foreign language and it is a compulsory requirement for the program.

He started Italian about 9 weeks ago. Last week was his first oral assessment. In true A fashion he put the time in preparing for it and wrote it all out. With spaces between lines it was about a page of writing. He had to introduce himself, his address, who is in the family, pets in the family and something about each member of the family - me he chose the word "bizarro" - yep and I love him too!!!

He cruises into my office at the end of the day and I asked him how the Italian oral went. He gets this flustered look on his face, runs his hands through his hair - at which point I am about to hyperventilate worrying about him - just as I am about to tip over the edge, this huge grin crosses his face and he jumps in the air, arms thrown upwards and a "Mum I aced it!"...

On the Oprah show, Jenny McCarthy said, "You've got to feel it to heal it," not an easy task...but such true words. As Mother Warriors we are mothers who are eternal optimists, who see the positive in every single experience we live with our kids...we grow with them.


Naomi said...

nice post and yes we live it - the other most brilliant thing is we "meet" all these other amazing people that would never have crossed our paths but for us all sharing having a child with a hearing loss in common. Every cloud really does have a silver lining.

Anonymous said...

Great comment, but I wanted people to know it is not always the mourning that your child is deaf.. It took us so long to realize it .. we felt GUILT :( .. how did we not know sooner ?.. The anguish was we felt like we were idiots :) now we could not imagine it different .. It is part of her and part of our lives :)