Monday, March 3, 2008
Response to the YOUNG DUDES -Oralist's Melodrama
Norah Jones can bite me, today it's Rhianna and Fergie-Ferg, lol. I am NOT a good influence on the little teenagers that I teach, I am MUCH more IMMATURE! Sitting here chewing on a piece of a Mega-chocolate Easter egg...Easter sucks here and will kill me because they don't give you little Mary Sues, they give you HUGE WONKER eggs with little insignificant, but VERY built up prizes inside. The kid channel commercials all hype the eggs by exaggerating the "hot toy of the moment." Of course Sofia goes wild, and of course my husband in love with his princess succombs. Don't all dads? So, I have about a ton of chocolate spread throughout my toiletbowl of a house...and I, being the chocoholic I am, indulge.
Back to my extremely high level of immaturity. Friday, I had two more middle school lessons with really cute kids. Yeah, we talked Tokyo Hotel and High School Musical. Saturday, I was told to F-off twice by one of my students. She was right, I was making fun of her because she was meeting a guy in the Corso - the main street of Grosseto's center, where all the little teeny-boppers congregate on Saturday afternoon. Note: the adolescents in this BORING town are condemned to a life sentence of walking up and down, up and down, up and down the main street, scoping until their parents send them to the University the hell out of this place. She was one of the girls I took to London in July (note, there are pix and a video circulating on this blog, youtube and internet from that little trip - it was a "JOY" *wink* (Okay, here's one photo-of course, I'm first in line-That pale guy's hot, isn't he? It's amazing what a girl will do for some free clothes))
and she needed a little assistance in the "guy" department. I gave her an education, as much of an education as you can give to a 15 year old and not be arrested. And now, she's telling me to f-off!!?? She's growing up...and she's going to Dublin with me this summer again...I will make her life hell - paybacks are all about that, aren't they?? I'm generally not the vindictive type, but if I can make someone sweat...
Yesterday, Luca was playing football (yes, he is forty and still playing/coaching American football - looks damn good in the uniform. My husband has the BEST ass I have ever seen in my life, which is saying a lot. I am married, but I am not DEAD!)and I was with the kidlings all day. Jordan had a birthday party at the beach. EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT! That spring smell is circulating and it was sunny and beautiful yesterday, what better place to be than the beach? I live for the beach and having lived in Baltimore most of my life - three hours from the closest ocean- which is slowly becoming NOT most of my life, living twelve minutes from the beach is just mind-blowing. Allow me to provide you with a photo of my "BEACH EXPERIENCE"...don't cry, it ain't all roses and glory - Winter sucks bigtime, here, but I managed to make it through another one...
Enough talking out of my ass...at least about that:)
In the Oralist's Melodrama Part II - I'll go back to part one in a minute...One of "All the Young Dudes" writes:
OK people, trick question time, if every “deaf” person chose their own preferred method of communication and were put in a room, how would they reach out to each other? Some refuse to sign. Some just can’t pick up speech. Some cue [as in join lines]. Some are illiterate.
My answer is that they would respond just as the bloggers have responded, by writing...and as I responded my first two years in this country, by smiling a helluva lot. Days and days of smiling, tuning into the language, tuning back out, smiling, laughing, bluffing just like deaf people do. How much SOCIAL BLUFFING have I done in my lifetime here? I have a good smile, will make eye contact, so I am as good a bluffer as my child - And because of my experience, I know when Jordan bluffs...and believe me or not, I "get" some of the deaf experience. My missing pieces are slowly being filled in by commenters and people sending emails off-blog, which I appreciate. As you can see, I am not a very private person.
Throwing out another question for you "Young Dudes..." your Episode 1 post had me going until your last sentence, which maybe was trying to be the kicker, but that totally contradicted your line of thinking. You wrote:
Now, to clear up one common misconception, the Deaf world is no more limiting than the hearing world is. Anybody who says otherwise, is a frigging liar. The limits of the Deaf world are those that have been imposed by the hearing world. For all the choices the hearing world has at its disposal, it still values hearing above all else!
People are people and are limited by ignorance, insensitivity, immaturity, envy and indignation. Sometimes ignorance can be a blessing, because only those who are able to evolve, suffer, can understand why they're suffering, but can't do anything about that, although there is always the power to choose. Insensitivity is a form of self-protection and an unwillingness to "go there." Immaturity, I am sure has to do with age and past lives and a need to learn and grow combined with a willingness to do so in this life. Envy, envy is one of those emotions that I do not and will never accept. Envy arises from a lack of self-acceptance and pride, fear and resentment that someone has something you do not.
Indignation, anger at something unfair is a hard one to overcome if you genuinely feel that you have been done wrong by life and are helpless to overcome that situation. Anger stems from a lack of control over circumstances.
When do I lose it? When Jordan was younger he used to push all the right buttons to piss me off and I would get that helpless feeling that only anger could drive away...until I realized that if I took control of situations before they got out of control, I could avoid the anger and manage my child.
"The limits of the Deaf world are those that have been imposed by the hearing world. For all the choices the hearing world has at its disposal, it still values hearing above all else!"
...is a product of indignance and anger. The Deaf world's limits are only those which they impose upon themselves, and the hearing world could give a shit about "hearing," you don't value something that is an inherent part of yourself. You generally only place value on something you don't or can't have...superficial or otherwise.
The strength of the Deaf community lies in the fact that they can't hear, so the use of other senses assumes a totally new meaning. Dancing, enjoying music, smelling Spring is done on a deeper level, without the sense of hearing for some. KW wrote an amazing post "Yes Mike, I Get It" about this different perspective as a Deaf woman viewing the hearing world...
She wrote, insightfully as always:
"I guess the waitress decided Kate was capable of dishing up her own food. After all, Kate could speak. You have to wonder what they think sometimes-- Hearing people. That you need a voice in order to dish up food? I don't get it. But that's when it hit home how different the world is for culturally Deaf people."
Deafhood, Deaf Identity, Deaf Culture, whatever label you want to use, it's all about the collective experience, the interaction with a world full of sounds...and cochlear implants (which are sexy contrary to what another blogger wrote), hearing aids, ASL, progressive, moderate, profound hearing loss, all of you have those experiences -the journey- and are effectively Deaf. The only thing that can limit the Deaf community are ignorance, insensitivity, immaturity, envy and indignation.
BTW- I am a big Rachel fan *smile*