Wednesday, March 5, 2008
How Can You Allow Your Deaf Child to HOPE in the REALITY that is the Hearing World?
Aidan probably thinks I'm a total lunatic (NB. she ain't the only one), every time she writes a blog, I have a problem with a word...but as we have already discussed, words are powerful and how we perceive each word is directly based on our life experiences. I'm still in the bronchitis dazed and confused, sweating, chilled mode, so just bear with me..although, I did take Sofia to school this morning and I even put some make-up on, wouldn't want to scare anyone. Anyway, in my blog from yesterday, I objected to the word "hopeful" used in Aidan's blog:
"The Deaf community strongly believes in collaborating with others in order to raise a happy, healthy and hopeful Deaf child."In response, I wrote, "I don't want my son to be "hopeful," I want him to conquer the world."
Aidan left a couple of comments:
hope·ful /ˈhoʊpfəl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[hohp-fuhl] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –adjective
1. full of hope; expressing hope: His hopeful words stimulated optimism.
2. exciting hope; promising advantage or success: a hopeful prospect.
3. a person who shows promise or aspires to success: the Democratic presidential hopeful.
I am here to clarify the definition of Hopeful. Trust me, I know my stuff. :o)
I wonder if anyone notice that some people have a pattern that they keep on twisting these words into negative such as "Militant", "Hopeful", and many words? What's up with this? Is this a part of fetish thing? ;o)
"Jodi, it amazes me that you still do not understand this definition. I am not talking about gambling on a child. I am talking about something that is guaranteed. "Hopeful" means guaranteed in this respect."
When I think of a "Hopeful" deaf child I see this image in my head
and then I imagine this... because a hopeful child is a trusting child and how many people can you truly trust in this world? God, the idea of leaving my child in a position to hope for something that never comes, that sets him up in the position to be smashed by life is so beyond unacceptable. I can place myself in that position, I can allow myself to be completely vulnerable and yes, hope and dream, set MYSELF up to be crushed, but not my deaf child.
So, I arm him with tools necessary to function in the world, like his hearing aids and now, his cochlear implant, and not because his cochlear implant represents success. His cochlear implant takes him from here -
To HEAR -
Would Jordan be able to be "hopeful" in the Deaf Community? I have no doubt that he would once he learned the language, but realistically speaking, we live in a hearing world. If the possibility exists that my son can hear and function AND take advantage of both worlds, I will give him both worlds. Because, based on my life experience, being "hopeful" sucks. Trusting other people to make your dreams a reality only sets you up to be disappointed and deluded. Trusting yourself, knowing your strengths and weaknesses and using both to your advantage, actually, identifying your weaknesses as strengths makes you a truly strong individual. I will be doing a lot of this with Jordan... along his journey of self-discovery and growth...and he is growing up to be a good person. You know, now that I'm thinking about it, he rarely ever uses the word "hope." I've never heard him say, "I hope that he will invite me to his party" or "I hope that I get an A on my test." He gets invited to parties and instead of hoping he gets an "A" he studies the best he can and gets whatever grade he merits.
Aidan, when you say, "I am not talking about gambling on a child. I am talking about something that is guaranteed. "Hopeful" means guaranteed in this respect." I will concede this:
I read about all that your mother gave you, and she sounds like a remarkable and beautiful woman. I come from the bitter school of thought that "Nothing in life is guaranteed." I have transmitted this concept with as much love as possible to my son.
Jordan has used the word "hope" before, when it comes to falling in love. After asking a girl to the movies, he said, "Mamma, I hope she says yes!" I may be cynical in regard to all this "hopeful" stuff in regard to deafness, but when it comes to love, I will allow him and help him to hope.