Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Probably Incoherent RE: Rachel, Patti, Aidan
Feeling like dog. Fever, chills, aches, bronchitis and my effin neighbors upstairs have been BANGING for the past two hours, not even my iPod can make it stop. I am in hell right now. BANG! Cough, can't sleep because BANG!I have had it with this country and my condominium with paper-thin walls. Can you imagine, you can hear EVERYTHING, so when one couple starts banging (not the strip the bathroom bang THE bang) I look at my husband, he looks at me and we refuse to be outbanged by any neighbor, so the BangWar begins. Yeah, we have a rockin' condominium. Can you tell I've hit the point of total delirium? I CAN'T SLEEP, the NOISE is hell! The last ten days of my life have been hell, and now I'm freaking sick to top it all off. BANG!BANG!BANG! Is it annoying you reading about it, because it's driving me crazy?!!
The worst part of all of this is that I can't think and there were like five powerblogs on deafread.com yesterday. Aidan's was like a mile long, deep as ever and I got lost. However, her grand finale was appreciated and very true in our case, I'm totally into the "It takes a village to raise a child..." Istia-Grosseto all the way, baby! (Aidan, btw, you aren't the only one who has been told she's black under the white skin *smile*)
"The Deaf community strongly believes in collaborating with others in order to raise a happy, healthy and hopeful Deaf child. It takes a family. It takes teachers. It takes clergy. It takes businesspeople. And it takes community leaders. It takes people who look out to protect our rights, education, health and safety, It takes all of us, the village."The only adjective that doesn't work for me is "hopeful," I don't want my son to be "hopeful," I want him to conquer the world. And...I would add that it also takes doctors- Pediatricians, audiologists and surgeons...this is my reality in our journey in deafness.
Rachel's made me cry and I haven't cried in a very long time...must be the fever. Patti's response to Rachel touched me especially when she called her "sister, " and threw out this:
I have refrained from responding to many of your blog entries because i did not want to come off the wrong way. Because i did not want to contribute to any of the harm u have already experienced. Because i do not want to exemplify it's open season on Rachel and Melissa.
It is not and it should not be.
Anonymous left this comment on yesterday's blog:
And, BTW, about being a Rachel fan... I do think she is her own person, independent of her mother. She's more willing to listen than her mother is. I left this on another blog just now: There is a huge difference between a hearing mom like Jodi Del Dottore and a hearing mom like Melissa. While I wish Jodi were making sure Jordan learns LIS ASAP, she is open to everyone. She is not indoctrinating Jordan with the idea that Deaf culture is bad and scary, unlike Melissa. I believe Melissa made it so that Rachel thought Deaf people were bad. So when Rachel sees a tiny bit of anti-CI from a few of us (and it's just a few of us!), she immediately thinks "Mom was right," and reinforces what she learned from her mom - Deaf people are to be avoided.
So I appreciate that you're in here, actively trying to engage us in dialogue rather than huffily dictating to us from a holier-than-thou perch. Thank you, Jodi.
I know this wasn't your intention, but comments like these make me feel like shit.
I love Melissa and Rachel because they are true advocates for the cochlear implant, their experience has led them to take a position. They are taking this position so that other parents interested in the cochlear implant realize what is possible with the ci. Nobody has to agree with them, but their strong voice is present, that is already something. I'm wishy washy. I stand behind my choice for my son, but still regret not having incorporated sign, which honestly, would have been too much. Don't even think of putting a hearing aid in my face to try and compare it to a ci, because then, I will no longer be wishy washy.
Melissa is not indoctrinating Rachel with the idea that Deaf Culture is bad and scary, certain comments left on Rachel's blog take care of that all by themselves. Melissa is supporting her daughter in this new endeavor, depsite being constantly criticized, I mean really, who needs the aggravation of being constantly criticized...but here is the kicker, and this is the kicker for me as well.
Having made it through years of av-therapy, ups and downs, temper tantrums, school meetings where they tell you your kid is violent, heart to hearts with your family when they tell you you are doing the wrong thing for your son, crying fits, hypersensitivity, rejection, peer difficulties to finally reach the point of taking the photo of your kid smiling while talking on the telephone because he can hear his mom's voice, he translates a sentence from English to Italian faster than anyone in his study group, he brings home an "A" on his History exam, he plays the piano on National Television and the guitar for an intimate group of fifty...all smiling. There were no smiles for so many years, just a lot of very hard work. This is why we are here writing about our experience and unphased by any type of criticism whatsoever. There is no woman more powerful than a mother who sees her son or daughter taking on the world.
PS. Happy Birthday DAD!!!! Love you!