Thursday, March 6, 2008

I'm Finished Thinking

Can you imagine how it feels to lose 1388 emails? Ten months of photos, beautiful words, special moments, intense feelings, my blogs, funny poems, new friends, old friends, problems, confessions, London, Baltimore, Italy, Australia, Alabama, New Zealand, Germany, Maldives, people, prayers, wishes from all over the freaking world...gone. I think I have to laugh. I refuse to cry. This entire period has been ridiculous. I am being tested, everything happens for a reason. WHAT IS THE FREAKING REASON?

*uncomfortably numb*

Well, the good news is that Jordan read the letter in class and his classmates applauded *smile*. He didn't need me to lay next to him when he went to sleep, I just got the normal "I love you, Mom" hug. He actually says it in English now. When I got home from the Publishing House and Lorenzo's, can't believe I went out in this freezing cold weather, but it had to be done, I found Sofia clanking around the house in plastic Winx high heels carrying a Paris Hilton purse with a stuffed dog in it...need I say more?

*thinking about crying*

Then, I read Paotie's blog, he kills me with his wicked tongue, loved this: Yes, I confess I miss the days of the Lewinsky scandal - and it was because I wanted to know more lurid details about the stuff the President did in the Oral Office! Like employing a cunning linguist whilst talking to world leaders!

*tearing up*

Lorenzo and I always have interesting conversations, I like learning about an older man's perspective...after all, I am still such a child. Kind of. When our relationship began, I was a sort of "priest," highly ironic job for a Jewish girl from Pikesville. Now, he has become a sort of consultant for me, providing interesting tidbits that I elaborate on from the female perspective. Men and women have as much to learn from and about each other as the deaf and hearing do, and I'm all for listening and learning.

*really sick of feeling sorry for myself - but I don't think throwing a desk would be the appropriate reaction*

So, when you're an adult and you have that helpless, frustrated, pissed off, angry feeling and you have learned that throwing desks and bombs are unacceptable behaviors, how do you react? What do you do to release all of that shit?

*Women think and think and think...*

Men do not...they react just like Jordan did...and the subject is closed.

So, where does that leave me?

How do you say "Burp" in Italian?
*I have Digested it all*

Moving on.

If you have sent me an email and I haven't responded, please send it again. I'm starting from scratch.

1 comment:

K.L. said...

Well, while it really SUCKS to lose all those precious e-mails, at least Jordan's dramatic moment ended well. Nothing I can say about your daughter's Paris Hilton situation. Just keep her away from video cameras for a while I guess.