Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Intelligent AND Sexy Women


Hiya. If you are a man and think you're gonna read today's post...go away. It will scare you. This one's for the women.

Hey girlz. If you've been following this blog over the past couple of days, you are aware that I have been living some shit the past ten years. Since RALLY CAPS has been published, I have been experiencing a sort of re-awakening that has led me straight into the land of WOMAN.

As I've also mentioned in other blogs, I have a very good friend named Lorenzo who gives me an education about the male perspective...the older man perspective, actually, which I find quite interesting. He says that men (Italian men) generally categorize women in two ways: "intelligent" and "sexy" (actually he used the Italian word "trombabile" (f-able), but for the sake of maintaining my "good girl" image - I will use "sexy"). From what I understand, "intelligent" is the kiss of death for a woman, kind of like when we say a guy is "nice" in English.

"So," I asked him, "What happens when a woman is intelligent and sexy?" He looked perplexed and said, "Lethal combination." (To deactivate music click on the thingy in the upper-righthand column)
Not many men are man enough to handle a sexy and intelligent woman. I have a couple of single, sexy and intelligent girlfriends who constantly complain that in Grosseto men with balls do not exist. So, ladies, when you find that man, hold onto him.

While sitting here working on the fourth revision of the Italian translation - it's driving me crazy, there are still so many errors- my mind wandered, for a change. All of my American friends from Baltimore are sexy and intelligent. They all have that attitude that exudes sex appeal, because they are intelligent enough to know what it is about their bodies that makes them sexy. If they have a great rack, they wear tastefully low-cut, tight, spandexy tops. If they have amazing legs, they wear just the right-length skirts. If they have a beautiful face and beautiful eyes, they dress in a unique style and color their hair so that it brings out that baby blue.

Hmmm.
I know that my blog reaches you when you turn on that computer to start working, that's how the time difference between Italy and the States contributes to making this blog effective. I intentionally try to spice up your mornings and start your days with a smile because work can be SOOOOOOOOO boring. And today will be no exception.

Ladies, it's time to talk "sex appeal." And in order to do so, we need to work from the inside out...which means RENEW THAT BRA AND PANTIES DRAWER.
Take a moment to ponder your undergarment selection of the day. Is it made of cotton or something sensually smooth and silky? Is there a touch of lace or something flirty going on there, or is it white, cotton grandma Gertie stuff? How sexy can you possibly feel if you are wearing geriatric material down there? And, let me tell you something else, just because you may have a little extra junk in that trunk DOES NOT mean that you can't go for that thong and avoid those nasty pantylines. "Sexy" starts on the inside, so schedule a trip to Victoria's Secret on your lunchbreak and shock the shit out of your husband.

Strong women are scary women and strong, sexy women are even scarier, so I suggest baby pink or virginal white instead of red - subtle is so much sexier than aggressive.
Once you spice up those undergarments, you'll notice a little bounce in your step and perhaps a few more interested stares coming your way.
See, when we are so stuck in our routines, marriages, child-raising lifestyles, we close ourselves off from the rest of the world and don't even notice those staring eyes anymore. This closure is normal and good for a married woman, it avoids potential problems, but it's dangerous for a marriage, because you settle into that routine
and that spice disappears even from your marriage.

When those stares start coming your way, you'll want to smile back. It's much easier to smile when you've got some juicy gloss on your lips, so...Head Straight for the MAC Counter of Nordstrom's or the makeup department of your choice and go for some transparent lip gloss
and hell, go for the kind with sparklies, because with your new sexy panties, you can add a little bling to those lips.

Bring flirty back into your life, because normal is so boring. Get your nails done, pamper yourself and look people directly in the eyes when they appreciate your groove thing. Most importantly, smile...people in this country really need to learn to smile.

And one more thing, one VERY important thing: A "Sexy" woman (the f-able type) may never be "intelligent," BUT an "Intelligent" woman can ALWAYS be "sexy." (Video with captions:Barack Obama - Meet Michelle...The embed code wouldn't work, check it out. Thanks to Paula for posting about Project ReadOn)

...think it's the fm red hair???

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

CAZZO,SAI QUAL'E' LA DIFFERENZA DOPO CHE HAI CAPITO CHE SEI SEXY OLTRE CHE INTELLIGENTE?

E' CHE HAI LA CONSAPEVOLEZZA DI ESSERE "FEMMINA" E NON SOLO DONNA...

MA DOPO DI CIO' SI HA POI LA CAPACITA' DI ESSERE TANTO INTELLIGENTI DA NON CADERE NEGLI ERRORI CHE FANNO GLI STESSI UOMINI?

SIAMO CAPACI DI FARCI ACCETARE SOLO PERR IL NOSTRO GRADO DI TROMBABILITA' O ANCHE PER LA NOSTRA INTELLIGENZA?

LE MUTANDE CHE SCEGLIAMO DI INDOSSARE CI RENDONO PIU' O MENO AUDACI ?


E SE POI IN UN MOMENTO DI DEFAIANCE
CI SI TUFFA IN UN GRAN CASINO?


ALLORA ECCO CHE C'E'E L'AUTO DIFESA
MUTANDE ALTE,SLARBI REGGISENI E ......LA MANCATA DEPILAZIONE,MEGLIO SE NON E' FATTA PER TUTTO L'ANNO...


IN TUTTO CIO' ,TI DICO CHE SCHERZO,MA UN POCO CI CREDO IN QUELLO CHE DICO.



MA UN DUBBIO IO CE L'HO ,SE MOLTE ALTRE DONNE AVESSERO IL MIO STESSO PROBLEMA?

QUALE?UNA SESTA ABBONDANTE CHE APPUNTO RICONOSCO IN PUNTO DI FORZA,E CHE ANCHE SENZA CERCARNE LA BIANCHERIA SEXY PER RISALTARLE STRARIPANO DA SE',IN UN CONTINUO SCHIOPPETTIO DI BOTTONI?

SAI A QUEL PUNTO,VOLERE VOLARE,LA BIANCHERIA CHE DEVI INDOSSARE DEVE ESSERE CURATA AD OGNI MODO.


PERCHE' SE DI SCANDALO SI DEVE TRATTARE CHE ALMENO SIA UNO SCANDALO CONDITO,CAPACE DI FAR PARLARE NON SOLO DI QUELLO CHE E' SBUCATO FUORI,MA ANCHE DA DOVE....


MI AUGURO CHE SIA TUTTO CHIARO,ALTRIMENTI TE LO SPIEGHERO' APPENA SI HA TEMPO.


BACI DA FRANCESCA

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

Francy...sorelle gemelle. rotfl. (quello te lo spieghero io dopo)Bellina la tua risposta, amica dalle pocce arrapanti...holy shit, you kill me. Jodi

Divided said...

Google translation does no justice...got only bits and pieces of Francesca's comments.

Jodi, bless your heart for posting early so I may start my day with a chuckle, funny thoughts and plans to run to Victoria's Secret to buy matching undies!!! Imagine my horror when your comments made me think about what I have in my drawer...old and non-matching pairs. Yeeeech!!

Oh, baby...light my fire!!! I'm going shopping for matching undies and viva la candles!!

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

Translation of Francesca's comment (close your eyes):
F**k! Do you know what the difference is since you realized that you are not only intelligent but sexy, too?
It's that you are conscious of being "Feminine" and not only a woman.
But after all of this, do you still have the ability to be so intelligent as to not make the same mistakes that so many other men make?
Are we able to make ourselves accepted only for our degree of f***ability or also for our intelligence?
Do the panties that we choose render us more or less audacious?
And...do we dive into a big mess in a moment of great defiance?
Well, here our choice of panties becomes a form of self-defense - grandma underpants, and bras and...not waxing the bikini area, actually better not to wax for an entire year.

In all of this, I can tell you that I'm joking, but I do believe a little of what I've just said.
Now, I do have a bit of a doubt that other women share my same dilemma.
What, you ask? An overflowing size F so that i don't really need to go looking for such a sexy bra because ain't nothin' holds those babies (getting creative).
(Don't really understand the rest, I'll have to have a meeting of the minds at the bar Stiacciole)Yes, she is one of my good Italian friends. Jodi

Jodi said...

Wow Jodi you have a photo of Gerard Butler on your blog LOL
I am an American living in the Netherlands,, and if you ever need a friend,, feel free to contact me :-)
OOOOHHHHHHHHHH I loveeeeeeee sexy undies, I brought a hugeeeee variety with me from the states to Holland,, oh yeaaaaa.... gotta feel it :-)
BTW I use the bable fish translation for English to Dutch and it totally BUTCHERS every thing I wrote,, whoops,,,
Jodi in Holland

Tiffani said...

Great timing on the post. Sexy hasn't been in the vocab here lately. Maybe it's time for a trip to the lingerie department. Let's just say I've outgrown VS. ;-)

Thanks for stopping by Sound Check Mama. Glad your little one got a kick out of Bloom!

Karen said...

That does it, I need to dig my thong out of my underwear drawer!


Uh, not.

But I'll stick to my pretty stuff!

Lisa C. said...

Karen,
Does your hubby know that you have your thong in your underwear drawer? (chuckle)

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