Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Jordan's Tirade - In Direct...Confessions of a Guilt-Ridden Mamma


Yeah, the last post managed to get a "hot damn" out of Paula...rofl! There are so many things I'd like to talk about today, I need to limit myself - not too good at that:) One thing about teaching at pre-schools in the morning is that I don't really need to use my brain. Actually, I find that I finish lessons and have no idea what I sang, I'm so busy processing what I read on Deafread.com...and other things. Every now and then the kids pull me back to reality with the funny things they do. This morning was no different with the usual "Jodi, can you blow my nose?" (and let me tell you, it is not normal mucous, it's the thick, green stuff that screams, "Mom, I'M SICK - LEAVE ME AT HOME!") "Jodi, look, my tooth is loose!" God, if there is anything that grosses me out, it's wiggling teeth...they know, and they torture me. I'm over it.

Oh, today is not good, Jordan just walked in the door really pissed off. There's this one kid on the bus that really annoys him. We went through five years of Elementary School with them bickering, hanging out and playing playstation, fighting, playing soccer together, wait, This is the tirade in direct:

"I can't stand this family, you lose all of my art assignments! You never put my stuff away. (Note: that's not totally true, I just threw some unidentifiable object that smelled like dead rat in the trash - I didn't have the courage to take the cover off to investigate further...and there are tumbleweed rolling through my house as I type) I'm not going to school anymore, I can't stand this terrible school! Martina annoyed me, she kept tickling me during Math, then when we were copying homework in our diaries, I didn't catch the page number because the class was too noisy and she wouldn't tell me the page numbers...Now, he's calming down - "Mamma, will you promise that you'll buy me some doughnuts and that really good pizza that you get me?... Now, I'm angry with Luciano because he broke my helicopter. You never help me with things. And then, you are like a druggie because you are always on the computer...computer and iPod... And Francesca is on my nerves. I asked, "Why?" (adding fuel to the fire)..."Because Francesca is annoying, she tells secrets and Cecilia annoys me because she tickles my throat." Oh, now he's really letting me have it..."you didn't come and hug me goodnight last night, you're always on the computer!" Note: I did take him to BIG PIZZA last night just him and me (starting to feel guilty for neglecting my child:() Thank God my mom doesn't read this blog, a. she would call me a slut and b. she would go off on me for neglecting my children.
Ah, the explosion before the calm. He's got his plate of pasta with ricotta cheese and he's turned on the television to wind down his schizofrenic self. This is the first outburst in a looong time. I know it is so tiring for him to go through a long school day in a loud classroom. We're working on getting the fm system, but he just upgraded to the FREEDOM processor with a loaner. We're processing the paperwork to get him his own processor. Based on what I've learned from other parents, I was told that the fm system with his old processor, the Esprit 3G, created static issues, so I decided to wait until he tried the FREEDOM, as it is supposed to work better and has a direct attachment feature that the Esprit 3G does not have. He loves the FREEDOM and refused to go back to the Esprit 3G once he heard the sound of the FREEDOM. He hears more background noise, but at the last mapping, we managed to lower the background noise so that there is a big difference.
While I am sad he had a rough day, and some of the things he says are painful, I appreciate every frustration he is able to express to me. When he had his hearing aids, his frustrations took the form of throwing things, kicking chairs, turning red and crying. Now, he uses his voice...he still turns red, but he communicates his feelings. Um...I think I need to stop writing and go hug my son...

8 comments:

Paula said...

Liked the "hot damn," did you? LOL

Have one word for you about Jordan... PUBERTY! My daughter went off the other day out of nowhere. Looking forward to a few more years of the same!

Gotta go wash this new hair and see if I can come anywhere close to Vadim (yes, that's his name!).

Val, getting your hair done does wonders for the psyche! LOL :)

anna s said...

HAHA. Thanks for the reminder that my kid's entering puberty soon!

The other day he said out of the blue after getting out of bed, "I am having a bad day!" I just stood there and gave him that puzzled " huh" look and said, "You jsut woke up and your day hasn't started."

Kids.

Ladies, I am getting my highlights this Friday. My hairstylist had a deaf partner and he signs really badly, but its so nice that I could communicate with him without resorting to paper/pen.

Karen said...

Puberty and wild hormones. We have that raging at my house. My daughter came home yesterday and went into a tirade about about some catty girl stuff at school. Then this morning, I went to a new audiologist who is also a mom of two deaf/hard of hearing daughters and she was sharing the same stories.
We all just gotta hang in there until they go off to college. :)
Maybe I just need to go back to the beauty salon, eh?

Amy said...

Hi Jodi,

Awww... puberty, hormones or typical pre-teen stuff. Sometimes when kids have a meltdown, it means that this specific incident is really significant to Jordan's perspective. He probably was very frustrated trying to stand by himself, and resolve conflicts. That is when he may benefit getting new skills - called pro-social skills to cope any kind of conficts. Jordan is not a child anymore, and he is frustrated for not able to express himself - especially advocate himself in noisy classroom, dealing with teasing, etc...

These times, I personally went through and it really left a very lasting impression of me. I lashed out my parents, but I just don't know how to ask to 'teach' me to deal with these idiocy out there. I remembered how I felt left alone when my parents becomes busy with their schedule. I do not want to burden them, but at the same time I need them the most.

Jodi - don't feel guilty, and please see as a wonderful opportunity for you to give guidance to Jordan!

Also, I have a question that I'd really want to ask...

What exactly did DeafRead have that makes you so engrossed? What clicked you? What would be like if you never stumbled into DeafRead?

I am at awe by witnessing you how you became enlightened and showing so much respect to the Deaf/ASL community, and yet sharing your stories without offending us?

You have "hot damn" high emotional intelligence!

Amy Cohen Efron

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

Amy,
Your comment was very touching and I greatly appreciate receiving it. You have asked such interesting questions that I think I'll blog the answers tomorrow. You are right, btw about what Jordan is doing...I just hope I can give him what he needs. Thank you for YOUR sensitivity, Jodi

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

Paula,
My hairman's name is Gabriele. He told me I needed to show some more leg because I am a woman *evil grin* I just do not need anymore encouragement in this period! Your presence is requested on Mishka's blog:) Jodi

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

Anna S,
lol! You go get your nails done, too, girl! Jodi

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

Karen,
What I love about blogging and ci circle is that other moms know just what to say to let you know you are not alone. I missed this for ten years...yup, hard to believe. Fighting the battle alone is a helluva lot different than doing it with friends:) Jodi