The following was a comment on Rita's Expressive Blog WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE NOT ACCEPTING OF THEIR DEAFNESS?
As for people who were born Deaf, their acceptance really pans out to how their parents treat them and look at them. If a parent refuses to allow the child to learn ASL, the child will feel something is missing, especially when the child meets a group of Deaf people using sign language in a public place, like a restaurant, or a movie theater. That can serve as an epiphany to the Deaf child who only knows the oralist method, or the cued speech method.
The parents need to nurture their Deaf children with love, with encouragement to have Deaf friends like themselves, the parents need to discard their fear of the Deaf community. It is only natural when a parent fears the Deaf community, because the parents do not know how to sign, and the parents want to know what their children are saying.
In short, sometimes parents don’t realize they neglect their children by depriving them to full access to communication.
Some Deaf people do have lipreading skills, if the hearing person doesn’t know how to sign, the work is cut out for Deaf people in straining their eyes to lipread. If the Deaf individual cannot lipread, and cannot read ASL signs, that person would struggle with acceptance of the Deafness, because that person doesn’t have full access to communication.
There’s frustration, insecurity, awkwardness, insufficience, incontinence, low self-esteem, low morale, and many other waves of emotions.
One thing which causes some not to accept their Deafness is pride, they worry more about how the hearing world views them more than how their fellow counterparts (Deaf people) view them. For people, pride can be their worse enemy. They want to keep pushing the “envelope” in being able to function without having to use sign language.
That is their choice, and their loss, that is, if they feel more comfortable in the hearing world.
Sometimes they fool themselves.
We have identity, and acceptance of our deafness, and we gain MANY friends in the Deaf world.
Either it is our gain, or our loss, it is our choice. Do we know what our identity is?
I have a Deaf identity, and I am proud of it, and am happier that way.
Oh, where to begin? First of all, thank you to deafread.com for posting all of these thought-provoking blogs and once again thanks to Abbie because I don't know how long it would have been before I found the site. Second of all, the deaf community is evolving because the cochlear implant represents the opportunity for deaf children to participate actively in the hearing community. More importantly, there are a growing number of COCHLEAR IMPLANT COMMUNITIES.
My parents divorced when I was very young and the war started. I was placed in the middle between two battling, hurt and immature adults and I learned to become objective and never take sides because I loved both of my parents. I am Jewish and live in a country with crucifixes in every classroom and restaurant, but I know who I am and do not expect others to necessarily conform to my religion. My sister Niki is a lesbian(dyke) and has created a strong identity within that community. If she loves a woman, I love her and just want her to be happy. I am an American living in an Italian world, yet my identity is American and I respect the Italian way of thinking. The important thing is that each of us is comfortable within our own skin and feels at home with each individual identity that forms who we are as the beings that move through the day. STOP JUDGING OTHERS, take a look at who you are and love yourself for all that life has brought you.
I created this blog to tell a little about our experience and to promote awareness as to other inspirational experiences in deafness. Each child and his or her family follows a different path that MUST be respected and protected.
To give you an example of today's parents of deaf children, I'd like to add Eva's premonition that I neglected to add to the CHOSEN post, but she really wanted to share with any readers:
I was 6 to 8 months pregnant watching a show about a surgeon
who was performing a cochlear implant surgery on a 2 1/2 year old.....I was very moved and simply in awe of his work. Something made me write his name on a piece of paper....
My husband had asked me why I was writing the surgeon's name and I told him, "You never know if our kids may need tubes and its always good to have the name of a good ENT"...He looked at me with a puzzled expression, but figured it was just my pregnancy hormones.
As Mia arrived into our world, through the early months I could see that something was just not right. I initially thought she was autistic and made an appointment with our local hospital to have her hearing tested.
The results led us to see the cochlear implant team at Sick Kids Hospital in Canada.
That day I took out the piece of paper I had saved for 4 months with the ENT's name and number.
I knew this was the man that would give our daughter the miracle of hearing.
To this day...6 years later, I still keep that paper in my wallet
so that I am reminded that premonitions do happen.
Now, meet Gage. I remember the first time Jordan had a conversation with his cochlear implant. He called us twelve times from my mother-in-law's house, he was so excited to finally be able to talk on the phone...GO GAGE!
PS. Thank you to the people who have left supportive,informative and really soul-baring comments, I appreciate every single one of them and hope that they will help others reading...Jodi
D-Pan video of Waiting on the World to Change
Couldn't find the embedded version, but here are the lyrics to Waiting on the World to Change.