Jordan's Tirade - In Direct...Confessions of a Guilt-Ridden Mamma

Yeah, the last post managed to get a "hot damn" out of Paula...rofl! There are so many things I'd like to talk about today, I need to limit myself - not too good at that:) One thing about teaching at pre-schools in the morning is that I don't really need to use my brain. Actually, I find that I finish lessons and have no idea what I sang, I'm so busy processing what I read on Deafread.com...and other things. Every now and then the kids pull me back to reality with the funny things they do. This morning was no different with the usual "Jodi, can you blow my nose?" (and let me tell you, it is not normal mucous, it's the thick, green stuff that screams, "Mom, I'M SICK - LEAVE ME AT HOME!") "Jodi, look, my tooth is loose!" God, if there is anything that grosses me out, it's wiggling teeth...they know, and they torture me. I'm over it.

Oh, today is not good, Jordan just walked in the door really pissed off. There's this one kid on the bus that really annoys him. We went through five years of Elementary School with them bickering, hanging out and playing playstation, fighting, playing soccer together, wait, This is the tirade in direct:

"I can't stand this family, you lose all of my art assignments! You never put my stuff away. (Note: that's not totally true, I just threw some unidentifiable object that smelled like dead rat in the trash - I didn't have the courage to take the cover off to investigate further...and there are tumbleweed rolling through my house as I type) I'm not going to school anymore, I can't stand this terrible school! Martina annoyed me, she kept tickling me during Math, then when we were copying homework in our diaries, I didn't catch the page number because the class was too noisy and she wouldn't tell me the page numbers...Now, he's calming down - "Mamma, will you promise that you'll buy me some doughnuts and that really good pizza that you get me?... Now, I'm angry with Luciano because he broke my helicopter. You never help me with things. And then, you are like a druggie because you are always on the computer...computer and iPod... And Francesca is on my nerves. I asked, "Why?" (adding fuel to the fire)..."Because Francesca is annoying, she tells secrets and Cecilia annoys me because she tickles my throat." Oh, now he's really letting me have it..."you didn't come and hug me goodnight last night, you're always on the computer!" Note: I did take him to BIG PIZZA last night just him and me (starting to feel guilty for neglecting my child:() Thank God my mom doesn't read this blog, a. she would call me a slut and b. she would go off on me for neglecting my children.
Ah, the explosion before the calm. He's got his plate of pasta with ricotta cheese and he's turned on the television to wind down his schizofrenic self. This is the first outburst in a looong time. I know it is so tiring for him to go through a long school day in a loud classroom. We're working on getting the fm system, but he just upgraded to the FREEDOM processor with a loaner. We're processing the paperwork to get him his own processor. Based on what I've learned from other parents, I was told that the fm system with his old processor, the Esprit 3G, created static issues, so I decided to wait until he tried the FREEDOM, as it is supposed to work better and has a direct attachment feature that the Esprit 3G does not have. He loves the FREEDOM and refused to go back to the Esprit 3G once he heard the sound of the FREEDOM. He hears more background noise, but at the last mapping, we managed to lower the background noise so that there is a big difference.
While I am sad he had a rough day, and some of the things he says are painful, I appreciate every frustration he is able to express to me. When he had his hearing aids, his frustrations took the form of throwing things, kicking chairs, turning red and crying. Now, he uses his voice...he still turns red, but he communicates his feelings. Um...I think I need to stop writing and go hug my son...

My Eleven Year Old Deaf Italian Ci-Wearing Stallion

Here's a little history on my Italian Stallion in training...can't imagine who he gets it from! These are some old posts from the Pediatric Cochlear Implant Circle that I wanted to share, so you have an idea how every part of the growing up process is a deaf ci kid moment...
Tuesday, Aug. 7, 2007:
Okay. My husband and I have been outside with Jordan, Sofia and six
other kids chasing each other on roller-blades. There is this one
adorable girl named Benedetta on the street and my son is chasing her
around and vice versa. He's in love. He asked me to ask her to be his
girlfriend. I tell him, that that is just not happening, I have to
draw the line somewhere with this parent advocate stuff. So, I take
him into a corner and do the role-play thing to prepare him what to
say to her so he can ask her to be his girlfriend. He tells me he's
going to ask her in front of everyone and I suggest that he invite
her into his personal office (the bench in the court) and do it
privately instead so as not to embarrass her. He accepts this advice,
yet bides his time. Just when the girls are leaving to go home, keep
in mind it's ten thirty here, he calls "Benedetta, I have to tell you
something!" She's madly racing home cause she got the come
immediately home call from her mom, so Jordan pulls the "Agnese"
(Agnis) card and pulls aside their mutual friend. He says, as
rehearsed, "Agnese, tell Benedetta that I think she is beautiful,
would she like to be my girlfriend?" So Agnese, the good friend that
she is, races down the street after Benedetta to tell her the
request. I'm of course hiding behind a bush observing everything and
my husband is just behind me laughing.
We see Agnese come racing back and Jordan, I swear goes, "Agnese,
tell me in my ear!" What does she say? "Benedetta said, she'll tell
you tomorrow!"
So now we're sitting here sweating it out, Jordan walks in and
says, "Thank God she didn't say "No" or I'd be crying all night!!!"
And so the wait begins...JodiResult: rejection

September 21, 2007:
HI EVERYONE!
Well, Jordan Eric started Middle School one week ago and already
amazing things are happening. Yesterday, he came home from school
and began the Middle School pace around the kitchen. Usually, after
Elementary School he would come home, slam his books on the sofa,
demand his lunch and not talk to anyone for an hour...his unwinding
time. Now that Middle School has begun...he paces. He said to
me, "Mamma, two incredible things happened today in Italian and
during Recess...but I'm not going to tell you what they were!" As
I'm thinking whether to approach this with the "Oh, tell me tell me"
method or the "Whenever you're ready to tell me you'll tell me!"
method, he suddenly says, "Okay, I'll tell you!" (He was dying to
spit it out!) He said, "Today in Italian, I talked for two hours
about being deaf and my cochlear implant. I told all my new
classmates about going on tv and talking about my cochlear implant
(in Italy)and I talked forever. I also asked the whole class if they
wanted to go on a field trip to the USA. *grin* Then, the two most
beautiful girls in my class asked me questions about being on tv and
what I could hear, and I answered them. Then, another beautiful
thing happened at recess, all the girls in the class came up to me
and said, "JOrdan, you're the best!"
So, I am listening to all of this in awe, watching him tell me
everything and he is so excited, bouncing. Of course I give him
the, "I am so proud of you!" and I'm smiling the rest of the day for
my son who has just started Middle School and who is proud enough of
who he is to explain it to a new class of 27. The teacher had asked
each child to explain something about themselves. He could have
talked about baseball or his summer at the beach or anything,
instead he chose to explain his cochlear implant.

This would have been enough, but the day did not end here. After
lunch he went back to school for his first guitar lesson at Middle
School. He attends a Middle School specializing in Music Education
and he takes guitar lessons. Note: after the Benedetta saga and his
rejection, just before Middle School started he decided he liked a
new girl, Erica, who is also one of my students. She comes once a
week for English lessons. She goes to his school and is a YEAR
OLDER. She happened to be at the Middle School because she had her
violin lesson the same time he had his guitar lesson. She finished
before Jordan so our families were outside talking. When Jordan
finally finished he came outside and saw Erica. He played it cool.
He talked to her about school stuff for a little and then it was
time to go. Luca, Sofia, Jordan and I started to head for the car
and Erica and her mom began walking to their car. Keep in mind,
Jordan had already asked me to ask Erica to be his girlfriend and
once again I had to go through the speech that I will not "get him a
girlfriend." So, I pulled him aside and said if you're gonna ask
her to go to a movie, now's the time, there are no kids around so if
she says no, no one sees it. He got the shy, what if she rejects me
face, and as Luca and I looked on, he made his move. He slowly
walked to Erica's car, I closed my eyes, it was just too much to
bear, then I looked at Luca who looked at me...we were I think,
praying.
When I looked back at Jordan walking back towards us, he had this
little grin on his face and he was walkin' like a man! He reached
the car and in this nonchalant voice said, "I asked her to the
movies and she said, 'okay, yes!'"
SHE SAID YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!she said yes,
oh my gosh, a girl said yes to my son!
Before dinner, later that night, he called the family and told all
of this to my mother-in-law, then my mom. When he sat down at the
table, he said, "Mom, this has been a beautiful day!"
Unbelievable...JodiResult: Got the "yes," but never went on the date...

This is the latest:
Jordan is still in love with Sara. Yesterday, during our weekly English lesson, his friend Luciano dropped the bomb - he has a girlfriend - the most beautiful girl in his Middle School that a couple other of my students had told me THEY were in love with. So, I said,"Luciano, what is your secret?" He went on to tell us how he had professed his undying love to this girl Ilaria only to be rejected. Then, he had a brilliant idea. The latest craze in Italian tween fashion is a brand called GO 101, which are black tees, sweatshirts, hats, etc. with a stick figure little man and a saying under the character like "Clueless," "VIP," "BOSS," "GANGSTER," (the one I bought for Jordan says, "NEVER GIVE UP," AND despite the fact that I'm old, mine says "CRAZY-MESS":)As if there were any doubts)so Luciano apparently bought this girl one that says, "IN LOVE!" She melted, appreciated the creativity and sincerity and agreed to be his girlfriend.
You can only imagine what Jordan's next question was...(to be continued...)

FROM THE MOUTH OF AN 11-YEAR OLD DEAF CI WEARER

First of all, if anyone is trying to send me emails, my email server has been down for two days...SO FRUSTRATING! I have a little story to tell about something that happened yesterday, but first I want to say that a decree was issued in Italy that requires the telephone companies to allow all deaf people 50 free text messages a day. Does anything like this exist in the USA? Pretty psyched about it, it is supposed to go into effect immediately, but things here are always so slow...
Okay. Yesterday, my friend and I took Jordan and two friends to the movies. After nine years of never going for a Sunday matinee because the theaters here sucked, they finally opened a multi-plex cinema, so I am making up for lost time with plenty of popcorn - real popcorn, American-style, heaven. Jordan had been bugging me to see Io Sono Legenda (I Am Legend - Will Smith)

for like three weeks. Being the freakin' idiot that I am (AND figuring that this would be a typical Will Smith action film), with my head in Blogville at the moment, I neglected to read what the film was about...well, I certainly was not expecting THAT! Terrifying, dark, psychologically traumatic for my brain, especially where it is right now and my son, my sensitive, small, eleven year old child was there sitting through this film - not at all suitable for his age group. But, see, he's at that age where I can't MAKE HIM LEAVE A MOVIE THEATER, especially when he's with friends. (This is where the helping him find his balls part comes in:)) However, one of the friends he was with, I could see was having a difficult time dealing with the concept of the total decline of humanity, so I grabbed him and took him out of the movie theater. Jordan refused to leave...I let him choose.
This friend, Giacomo (James) and I went to the lobby and I gave him my iPod to listen to some Rhianna to lighten his mood, he was pretty destroyed by the film's content...as was I:) After we used humor to combat the effect created by the scene in the dark house where you can see all of the alien-looking naked people, Giacomo said, "Well, I'm kind of curious to see what happens next." And I was thinking, there just has to be some type of thing going on in the movie that takes you out of darkness to light, so I thought to myself, "Maybe it's okay to go back in, so he can let go of some of the fear." Another one of my brilliant ideas...we walk back into the theater and sit down just in time for Will Smith to explode the one hundred alien-people storming his house, gun shots, animal-like screaming, dark vs. light, neverending torture. I covered Giacomo's eyes and Jordan reached over at the same time to help me cover Giacomo's eyes, yet continued watching. I grabbed Giacomo again and we left...for good.
We waited outside for Sonia, Jordan and Simone to come out of the movie. When they finally got outside, we started talking about the movie, and I said, "Jordan, why didn't you just get up and leave? How could you sit through that movie?"
Jordan looked at all of us and said, "During the bad parts, I closed my eyes and shut off my ci!"
My deaf child is amazing.