I'm sitting here listening to my relax mix on my iPod, so I'm especially sensitive for this good morning deafread.com wake up call having to do with the parents who gave their adopted child back because she was deaf and not a candidate for the cochlear implant. I read about this on listen-up, as well, and must admit I've been kind of chewing around about it for days. I refuse to see the parents' decision to return the child to the adoption agency as a defect in regard to the child, rather as a failure on the part of the parents and the system. Not all men and women are created alike, not all have that inner strength to overcome obstacles that challenge us on a daily basis.
I remember the first two years of Jordan's life when he woke up six times a night every single night and I had to do the pace back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. I consider myself a pretty rational person (in general)but there were times when I lost it and for a second could imagine and almost understand how some people abuse their children. I mean I'm an educated, intelligent person who got pregnant before getting married and CHOSE to have my baby. What about all of those teenagers who get pregnant because it's in-style, how the hell do they deal with a baby who doesn't sleep at night?
If you are IGNORANT, INSECURE, SMALL IN THE HEAD, how do you deal with raising a Deaf child in a language that is not your own? The answer could be one of many, but one question I do have is were there adequate psychological support systems to help this couple? Did they have access to information, classes, home support and the Deaf community during this process?
I choose not to see this situation as a rejection of the child who they wanted to "FIX" but an admission of personal limitations, impotence, frustration, insecurity, shallowness and weakness...and choose to believe that they were doing this in the best interest of the deaf child whose needs they realized they were not strong enough people to adequately meet...although are a deaf child's needs really so different than a hearing child's needs?
And one more thing...COCHLEAR IMPLANTS ARE NOT A FREAKING WAY OF FIXING YOUR DEAF CHILD...CHOOSING TO OPERATE ON YOUR DEAF CHILD IS A PAINFUL DECISION FOR A PARENT TO MAKE, PAINFUL, BUT WORTH IT...AT LEAST FOR MY KID. AND COCHLEAR IMPLANTS ARE A PROCESS NOT A CURE. SO...WHO EXACTLY IS THE WORSE PARENT HERE- LYNCHED MOM BECAUSE SHE GAVE BACK HER DEAF KID...OR ME? AFTER ALL, I "FIXED" MINE. DON'T BE SO QUICK TO JUDGE.