Friday, January 25, 2008

This One's for the LADIESSSSSSSSS with a Tribute to Karen Putz - Go Girl!

I have had the most bizarre day! I went to teach my pre-school class and they WERE OUT OF CONTROL! In fifteen years of teaching I have never not been able to control a class, today was the exception to the rule. I tried everything! I jumped, danced, sang, pulled out the Mr. Potato Head, hokey pokeyed, read a book until finally, I whipped out a coloring sheet and sat their insane 3,4,5 year old butts down. The country is going to hell! The President was forced to resign amidst fighting, fainting, cursing, immature senators. And then, there was my middle school group. The oldest, Simone, who is in his first year of high school, strutted in with his "motorino" (in Italy, 14 year olds can get a license to drive a motor scooter)helmet on his head thinking he was all that because he was DRIVING and free! I made him feel like he was all that...so cute, so distracted. We were working on the present continuous and present simple forms of verbs used as the future tense...struggling to teach them something. I gave up when Matteo drew a funky looking face on a piece of paper, put it in front of his own face and started talking. I lost it...just one of those days. I gave up and we played "go fish" while I tried to translate the latest Britney Spears song for Gioia - also out of her mind. What is with today?
I'm sitting here typing at my friend Rhonda's house, because I've been out all day and don't have time to go home...the kidlings are sleeping at the mil's, hubby's out at football practice, so I'm thinking tonight might just be a night out with the ladies, I seriously need one of those.

I had an interesting conversation with a teacher this morning as the mad preschoolers calmly colored. She is in a crisis because her son has accused her of doing too much for him as a child, basically he's blaming her for his failed marriage. His wife left him and he is playing the victim. He claims that the fact that she was always cooking, cleaning, teaching him to be a good boy - do well in school, never put your hands on another child, feel sorry for the "bad kid" in the class, share, etc - made him a dependent wuss. Meet the majority of Italian men. While the strategy of teaching your child to always be well-mannered, polite, to share, to help the next, to do unto others as you would have done unto you works in the good old USofA, it is BULLSHIT here in Italy.

Here it's survival of the fittest, meaning that if you take the soccer ball to the park and share it, you ain't coming home with it. (I interrupt this blog to give you Susie's opinion - another American who just popped into Rhonda's - loving this-)
"It's not true that they can't be polite, well-mannered, etc. but they do need to be able to assert themselves and stand up for their rights (a permanent marker is necessary - meaning write the kids names on every single thing they own- or lose it)"
This is my parenthesis - Susie is a single Mamma with three GIRLS! I have a BOY! So what does that mean? That means that I have gone from passive, let it roll off your shoulder to punch the delinquent child in the stomach. I never thought I would advocate violence, but if that is what it takes...Rhonda has just interjected with this pearl: "Don't hit first...but hit back...harder!" (dying-she has THREE boys)

Okay, maintain the calm. Jordan is in middle school. There is no reasoning with middle school hormones or delinquency. This is a passionate and very physical group of people, not a lot of intellectual reasoning regarding right and wrong in this age group. So what am I to do? Shit - so much for ladies' night out - Rhonda can't get a sitter, looks like I'm home alone:( Continuing...Jordan once had an incident at the beach where a younger and smaller kid was picking on him. Being the well-educated American child that he is, he was afraid of the kid because the fact that he was smaller prohibited him from "fighting back," so he became more and more frustrated with this kid and more and more the victim. UNACCEPTABLE! We role-played. I was the little bully and Jordan was Jordan. Luca showed Jordan how to get right in front of the kid's face, scream, "I'm gonna make you eat sand if you don't stop breaking my balls!" - put him in a choke hold and drag his face to the sand. My American side was screaming, "NO! NO! VIOLENCE NO!" My newfound don't-mess-with-my-deaf-kid side let my son scream at me, put me in a chokehold and shove my face to the ground. Hmmm. Teaching my son to be aggressive and violent, Mom would not be happy. Welcome to my world. Needless to say, Jordan used this role-playing the next day at the beach and that child NEVER messed with him again. Balls, balls, balls.

The point of this is that that teacher is re-thinking how she raised her kid and suffering. The first thing I viewed this morning - and the only thing- didn't make me vomit, but it did upset me -on deafread.com was The Ugly Truth of CIs - (really appreciated the captioning) How do you think the parents of that man feel today? What a painful story. We as parents make choices in how we raise our kids...we do what WE think is best for them at the time and suffer the consequences later. I guess it depends on how well we listen to our kids as to how much suffering we will ultimately be doing, parenting is just no easy job - and to think we beg for it!

Wahoooooo! Ladies' night is back on and there is one FINE WOMAN who I will be toasting to tonight - Karen Putz...you are THE WOMAN! DEMAND FREE SHAKES!! This song's for you...



Nicole.
Ri-Rihanna.
Ni-Ni-Nicole.
Ri-Rihanna.
Ni-Ni-Nicole.
Ri-Rihanna.
Ni-Ni-Nicole.

Gonna win it no limit, strong women we are.
Gotta win it no limit, strong women we are.
Gonna win it no limit, strong women we are.
Gotta win it no limit, strong women we are.

Chorus
Where them girls at. (Girls at).
That like to be in charge.
When the heat get too hot, they just keep turnin’ it up.
Never let ‘em see see, that you sweat, gotta go hard.
Where those winning women thats really willin to take it off!
Where them girls at. (Girls at).
That like to be in charge.
When the heat gets too hot, just keep turnin’ it up.
Never let ‘em see see, that you sweat, gotta go hard.
Where those winning women thats really willin to take it off!

Verse One
Uh-uh-uh-uh huh.
When you see both of us on catwalk representing our culture.
Uh-uh-uh-uh huh.
Well the time and day has changed, where the women wear the pants without changing the last name.
Uh-uh-uh-uh huh.
Where the word diva, diva, mean viva, viva, we run las vegas.
Uh-uh-uh-uh huh.
And then the stock exchange, bang, Than we got claim to the change.

All, all, all a girl want, wants.
All a girl need, needs.
Its just all those, simple things like to be cared for.
Just to have him, be there for.
All that matters, it’s those sweet things.
That’s all a girl really wants.
[Winning Women lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]


Chorus
Where them girls at. (Girls at).
That like to be in charge.
When the heat get too hot, they just keep turnin’ it up.
Never let ‘em see see, that you sweat, gotta go hard.
Where those winning women thats really willin to take it off!
Where them girls at. (Girls at).
That like to be in charge.
When the heat gets too hot, just keep turnin’ it up.
Never let ‘em see see, that you sweat, gotta go hard.
Where those winning women thats really willin to take it off!

Verse Two
Uh-uh-uh-uh huh.
We are too confident, me and her talk to Phil, never happen again.
Uh-uh-uh-uh huh.
We don’t wait, we get paid, for a trait holiday, we sip lemonade.
Uh-uh-uh-uh huh.
Instead of doing what he wants, we do what we want, buying homes in Geneva.
Uh-uh-uh-uh huh.
Like when the sound baby glance, rings, and that means more than things.

All, all, all a girl want, wants.
All a girl need, needs.
Its just of those, simple things like to be cared for.
Just to have him, be there for.
All that matters, it’s those sweet things.
That’s all a girl really wants.

Chorus x2
Where them girls at. (Girls at).
That like to be in charge.
When the heat get too hot, they just keep turnin’ it up.
Never let ‘em see see, that you sweat, gotta go hard.
Where those winning women thats really willin to take it off!
Where them girls at. (Girls at).
That like to be in charge.
When the heat gets too hot, just keep turnin’ it up.
Never let ‘em see see, that you sweat, gotta go hard.
Where those winning women thats really willin to take it off!

8 comments:

Paula said...

You are one INSANE woman! Glad you're getting a much needed ladies night out tonight. Where can I get one of those? LOL

Maybe Jordan can teach my son that beach trick?

Sitting here miserable today as my websites have been shut down for reasons unknown with a ridiculous sign that says "Account Suspended - Contact billing dept!" What the??? It's the second time that it has happened in the last couple of months. May be a hacker, we're not sure. Getting rid of the hosting company and getting our own server and lines put in. HearingExchange and HE Kids will never be at someone else's knees again. :( Will take a few days to get it all done, but if that's what it takes... Good thing my hubby is a techie type.

Karen said...

LOL, what a song! I'm coming to Italy and we're gonna share a shake together someday!

Paula said...

Karen and Jodi, we should plan for an Italian rendezvous for us and other mom bloggers. I'm sure Jodi can put us all up and we'll have ourselves a Ladies Night! :)

Paula (who's happy now that her site is back online!)

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

P and K, Hell yeah! Paula, so glad you are back in action! Jodi

Hearing Mom said...

Jordan's Mom,
You wrote:
"The point of this is that that teacher is re-thinking how she raised her kid and suffering. The first thing I viewed this morning - and the only thing- didn't make me vomit, but it did upset me -on deafread.com was The Ugly Truth of CIs - (really appreciated the captioning) How do you think the parents of that man feel today? What a painful story. We as parents make choices in how we raise our kids...we do what WE think is best for them at the time and suffer the consequences later. I guess it depends on how well we listen to our kids as to how much suffering we will ultimately be doing, parenting is just no easy job - and to think we beg for it!"

I am a hearing mom too. Deaf history shows us what has happened for the past 128 years since Milan. Hearing parents have been told what to do by who?? "other hearing so- called experts". Isn't it time we learn from history and start listening to the real experts who are Deaf people themselves. They have been the most affected by the system. When will parents understand that it is so not about them, but about the child and the person that child grows up to be.

This person in the above blog is not an isolated incident, there many of these stories and thousands if not hundreds of thousands of orally raised finding ASL too late stories out there. After you hear/see so many of them, how can we hearing parents not "get it".

I beg you to encourage those hearing parents you know to seek out Deaf Experts regardless if the parents are considering CI or not. Get their advice from the people who live it each day, not from those that profit from it each day.

Jennifer said...

AMEN....Karen is THE WOMAN!!!!!!!!

Rhonda (not the Rhonda in the post) said...

This comment may be off in left field as far as what you were posting about, but it made me really upset for that teacher friend of yours that her son is laying that load of crap on her. He needs to grow up and take some responsibiity for his own life. If he doesn't like that his mom did so much for him growing up, then why is he STILL coming to her and asking her to take the responsibility for his failed marriage? If he recognizes a weakness in himself, then he needs to grow a pair of those round, bouncy things and fix it himself. Not run to mommy and make her feel guilty about it. Talk about continuing a cycle. LOL Ok. Got that off my chest. You're right though. Parents do what they believe is right at the time that they do it. Whether it be teaching manners or deciding on a communication method. Choices, choices, choices. It would be kind of nice not to have to make any. But...one of my own quotes to myself is often, "The decision not to choose is still a choice." So on I go. Love Karen's choice to stand up for her rights BTW.

Stephen Hopson/Adversity University said...

I blogged about it too in my weekly gratitude post. My gratitude went to Karen Putz for having the courage to stand up and be counted in the face of withering criticism and pressure. Her story both inspired and pressed some deeply hidden buttons that I didn’t know existed!

Thanks for helping a fellow blogger spread the news - she’s my buddy too!