Blue Ice-Cream for Lunch

I spent the last beach day with my girlfriend and my girl.
At a certain point a bee decided to bless us with its presence.
Sofia SCREAMED.
And jumped on me.
She continued screaming and whining.
I said, "SOFIA!!! BEES STING GIRLS WHO SCREAM!"
She stopped.
We cuddled.
I snuggled her up.
She has the most kissable cheeks. Her cheeks are like balloon cheeks, you have to attach your lips to them and just keep kissing.
There was a time when I dreaded Sundays. Sundays in Italy are family days to be spent at the table over first, second, third and fourth courses...a day of eating and sleeping on the sofa.
Today, we spent our Sunday on the beach, soaking the sun and listening to mp3 downloads.
We had blue Smarties ice-cream for lunch. I told her NEVER to tell her children about the kind of mother I am.
She said, "Okay, Mommy, I promise I won't".

New Pearls

Debbi once told me that this would be an introspective period for me.
She was right.
The period has now become a life-style: balanced, harmonized, lived.
I hurt my parents, people I love and probably myself during the journey, but before you truly appreciate what you have, you almost need to spit out the stuff that you never really came to terms with...and overcome the pain.
When you survive the spit phase, you start appreciating all that was good. It isn't true that we only remember the bad- we just need to acknowledge that life is never perfect to begin to appreciate all that is truly perfect in our lives.
There was a time when I was a little bit of my mom and a little bit of my dad.
Now I'm me.
We fall.
We get back up.
We fall.
We get back up.
We learn to walk many times in life, and if we are truly lucky...
the people we love continue to hold our hands.

Mommy-Do

Two days ago I had a pediatric course on audiology in a part of Italy I'd never visited. I drove five hours in a car alone with the surgeon who performed Jordan's cochlear implant operation. When I got in the car, he asked me if I liked driving. I said, "No". He said, "Okay" and "Usually when I drive with other people, they drive and I work." I said, "I don't drive distances, I take the train," and I pulled out my little smartphone and did work:-) During the ride, I asked the forum if they had any questions for a surgeon and a couple of people asked a couple of questions that I referred to him. I think he had fun. We had a grand old time doing my work and speaking cochlear implant related English.

I enjoyed the scenery. We stopped in a place called "Holy Water" and had frozen coffee. Spiritual moment.

We finally arrived in Teramo and had an amazing dinner with our regional representative of the audiology network. Beautiful evening, stimulating conversation about kids, screening, cochlear implants and good food.

I tasted Trebbia, a wine from Abruzzo.

The next day a Professor from Rome arrived who I had heard about but had never met. He once operated on the Pope. A friend of mine had told me that, so I asked him about it and he told me that was a particular time in his life.
I asked for his assistance for a couple of questions on the Italian forum.
He gave me the answers to help the parents who asked the question. He didn't just give me an answer, he looked interested in the question and expanded on the answer.

Humanity and intelligence. Beautiful.

I love my job. I love it because I am surrounded by people who make a difference in children's lives, yet who know that their role is minimal compared to speech therapists, teachers, parents, pediatricians, etc who all contribute to helping a child grow.

 It's a together process.

I stopped in Florence for the night...for a girls' night out. And shopping the next day.
Then, I came home had dinner with my girlfriends who listened to my tales of a course in Abruzzo over pizza with eggplant. We laughed, hung out and dipped cookies in ice-cream.

One hour later I picked up my kids, who were ready for me with a school list of things to do and various complaints; I returned to being a mom.

As I was taking out the trash about ten minutes ago, feeling the first chill of Autumn, I realized that life gives you many opportunities to be happy. The moments may be fleeting or they may be periods, they may be represented by people, work, kids, family, lovers, husbands or pets....but they do exist.
And they need to be appreciated.

9-11-2011

When I came back, the people of New York did something magnificent. They moved forward.- Alona Elkayam


Let's not forget how tragedy and adversity can help people become more than they thought was possible; how difficult times allow us to see and realize the best in us.- Nathan Haskins

Remembering the hurt, loss and pain that everyone experienced 10 years ago and still today! My heart goes out to those that were lost, those that lost loved ones and to those that still fight for us every day! God bless! - Karen Feeser

Ten Years ago today, many of us will never forget where we were, what we were doing, and most importantly how we felt. Let the light of God shine upon those who have been lost and to those who have survived. That day changed us all, let us never forget. - Jason Cantow 

10 years ago my life was in transition, I was going through a divorce, changing careers working 3 jobs and going to school to become a Paramedic. On 9/11/01 I was walking into the Steadman Station for my clinical rotation on BCFD Medic 1. While standing at the watch desk I watched the second plane hit in New York. The rest of the day was surreal but I knew right then I had made the right choice and no matter what I was going to be a Paramedic and nothing could stop me. NEVER FORGET! - Martin Cohen

I am trying to explain 9/11 to my girls as we watch the memorial on tv. Tell them how I came out of the subway and saw everyone looking up at the burning towers. I found 2 friends that I worked with and we ran with some other coworkers to my brothers apt on 15 th street. I ran without shoes because I wore uncomfortable shoes that day. Seems like yesterday. Still unbelievable - Stefanie Fine Hiller

Now, more than ever, I am proud to be an American. We take a hit, and we get right back up. We remember and we feel. Most importantly...we pass this strength onto our children - wherever in the world we may be. And as an American living abroad, I am touched to say that Italy feels too.

What Does a Hungry Rabbit Do?

Sometimes the diagnosis is no.
And the prescription is deal with it.
A door slammed.
And a big fat WHY?

When you continuously butt heads with a No and pick yourself up again, you learn that you have choices.
The power to choose is the most effective medicine to cure ass-on-the-ground syndrome.

There are many effective homeopathic remedies to dry the waterfall:
Looking at your children as they sleep. (Silent, peaceful children as opposed to screaming, demanding kidlings tend to have a more immediate impact)
Shopping- the less you spend on something you've been dying for, the better.
Running- the more you sweat, the better.
Nutella milkshake- do not exceed one a day or the Shopping effect may become traumatic.
Etc.
Perhaps the most effective cure of all is talking to, sharing with and listening to another friend who has received the same diagnosis time after time. Because while you are suffering in the middle of what seems like a neverending moment of impossibile grief, she knows that the light is there waiting for you.
She will listen to your pain and ask you important questions that will only begin to register as you find the strength to pull yourself towards that light.

And once you finally reach that light, which equals loving yourself...
you will use your knowledge to help the next woman lost in a foreign country.

TransParent

"Mom, I want to cut my hair off."- Jordan.
I looked at the bush on his head.
Me: "REALLY??"

Hearing aids, cochlear implant processors and long or short hair have never been an issue. For me his hearing aids were his ears, a part of him...never wanted him to have a hardware complex. Jordan's the one who shaved a processor in his hair on the side he doesn't have the processor. He started high school last year with bush hair, and I loved the curls. I never even thought that he'd wanted to grow it to hide his processor. I'm a firm believer in showing the processor so that people know he has a hearing loss. Then towards the end of the year, he made some comment that his hair hid the processor. Only then did I reflect that maybe HE WANTED to hide it. I never went in depth with that type of discussion...I just let it and him be.

But when he told me he wanted to go back to short hair, I smiled...

Venus

Today...
a mom told me all the progress she's made, where she is in the journey and asked me technical questions about the cochlear implant. Her son was diagnosed three months ago. He is three years old. She's had to make up for lost time and she's on auto-pilot without even realizing it. "He's doing well, he's been wearing the hearing aids for 60 days, he says Mamma, Babbo and acqua."
I told her to join the forum. It's not about the hearing aids, the ci or the words...it's about sharing the day on the playground when a child comes up to your child, points and says, "What are those things on his ears?"
Support...is a Venus thing.

Sofia stood at the door, tears welling in her eyes and looked at me.
I told her to come sit by me.
I snuggled her up, and asked, "Are you in a fight with your girlfriend?"
She nodded her head.
She said, "She ignores me when she's with all the boys playing with the Wii. Just because I'm the little one."
I understand.
I looked down and saw her nails painted black and silver swirled-like.
I said, "Wowwwwwwwwww, who did those?"
"She did!", and Sofia smiled.
Painting nails is so Venus, so is ignoring girlfriends for boys.

My girlfriends and I are having my Italian soul sister's pizza for dinner tonight. She makes the best damn pizza from scratch! We're bringing beer and coke and preparing to be girls. Women need to be girls.
She's going back into the hospital tomorrow for her fourth operation in a year.
Venus is strength.