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They each took me aside at different moments, when they each were sure the other one was not around.
Jordan: Mom, leave Sofia with Grandma and take me with you to Baltimore.
Sofia: Mom, leave Jordan in front of the XBox and take me with you to Baltimore.

Mom: Jordan, how would you feel if I just took Sofia with me and left you home?
Mom: Sofia, how would you feel if I just took Jordan and left you home?

Mamma is going home alone:-) My grandma is doing better, so it's gonna be a different kind of visit than that which I had anticipated:-)

And as I sit and look forward to going home, my thoughts and prayers go out to Japan- honor and love to their dignified way of dealing with this truly devastating moment in history. Much love and heart.

The White Picket Fence

I never flipped through magazines looking and yearning for that beautiful white wedding dress.
I never held babies and dreamed of having my very own.
And home for me was seeing my Pop in a white t-shirt and Hanes boxers eating a tub of Cookies and Cream ice-cream with a spoon as my Grammy cooked her very own crab soup with leftover crabclaws from the dozen eaten the night before. The house steamed Old Bay.
I believed that babies were born hearing.
I believed that husbands were supposed to mow the lawn on Sunday mornings.
I believed that wives knew how to cook and clean.

I loved the part of Tom Sawyer where he tricked the kids into painting that fence.
I thought he was so intelligent as he sat there smugly watching the others do his work for him.
I admired him.

I now know that the most satisfying thing a woman can do...
is to pick up a paintbrush
start from the ground
and work her way up each and every single panel
until that fence shines white.

Only then can she truly savor the apple as she sits under the shaded tree all by herself.

-14 Days

So I had the stomach flu on Sunday and slept it off on Monday. I slept for about 20 hours. And I believe I'm a different person. As I begin to write this blog, I feel that I am not the same person who wrote the last post. Bizarre.



They say that the flu makes you grow. My kids usually grow a few centimeters after an illness. Really.

I didn't feel sorry for myself that I was sick and alone.
But I did reflect upon this fact.
I didn't feel like I was missing anything.
I just snuggled up in my leopard comforter.
I felt actually fine even though I was puking my lungs out.
Well, how bout that.

Weakness-inspired-strength.
Interesting.

I told my grandmother who's been in the hospital to hold on and be strong.
I told her to hold on for just another 14 days...I'm coming.

Fragile

Jordan and Sofia, October 2007...three years ago when I first began blogging.

And this is Jordan today...

The high school years are a combination of hormones, insecurity and determination. We fight the three on a daily basis and judge the outcome day by day, grade by grade. Jordan is in a stay-at-home X-Box warrior phase. He plays the X-Box, uses his earphones on the side of his cochlear implant processor and plays imaginary wars with other teenagers around the world. Sometimes, I hear him speaking English and sometimes Italian.

A strange thing has suddenly occurred and it's driving me out of my mind. He uses a different voice. Ok, he has this new scary manly voice, but that's not it...He now speaks Italian with a Milan accent. He lives in Tuscany, but because he's been X-Boxing it up with guys from Milan, he now talks like them.

Unbelievable. Imagine if Val's kids from Alabama started speaking with a Boston accent.
*Smile*

Wonder what Graham Clarke would think of this one?

The Job Interview

A couple of days ago Sofia and I were late yet again for school. We tend to have emergency bathroom issues one minute before we leave the house and this time it was a simultaneous situation. The day before she had had a full day of school, so she had left her knapsack at school and had only taken home a notebook, agenda and pencil case. I parked the car, collected her materials and sent her on her way. The school is being renovated, so she didn't enter via the usual door, she kind of had to walk down a mini alley towards a gate into the school.

Because we were late, not a soul was in sight, except for my big eight year old girl walking that alley framed by the Tuscan hills.

One of those Mamma moments that chokes you up for about a 24 hour period. One of those moments where you see your child as a person who will one day become a woman - basically scared the shit out of me.

The past few days have taught me a great deal about myself.
Glimpses into the lives of others sometimes gives you a totally different perspective on yourself.
I have learned that we each create our own personalized tunnel. Yet, we oftentimes drag others into our tunnel. We are responsible for light and darkness not only for ourselves, but for others. We are directly responsible for how others treat us and what they expect from us. No one should ever expect more from you than you expect from yourself...and here's a little secret...
They won't.

Dignity

Today I went shopping with my girlfriends. I told them I wanted a really  feminine dress to wear with a bulky cardigan and boots. We stopped inside a shop and picked out this cream-colored dress with lace and we all went to the dressing room so I could try it on. I put it on and loved it, walked out of the dressing room to show them and realized that there were two men sitting there waiting as their women tried on their clothes. I then turned around and realized that the back of the dress was transparent.
I lost it.
Can't I even enjoy five minutes of free time with my girlfriends without having to bare all to a couple of strangers?
Can a woman have some peace!!!
I kind of went off on the men, but they didn't budge.
I got the dress because my friends convinced me I looked ten years younger in it, and I'll just have to hide the back with something.
I wanted something feminine.

Earlier in the day, I sat sipping a cappuccino as the sun streamed on my face.
I smiled.
The Italian situation is moving. There are pediatric refresher courses scheduled in Campania, Abruzzo, Marche, Sardegna, Calabria and Puglia just had one.
We built a machine designed to educate pediatricians on newborn hearing screening and it's actually working.
Two and a half years ago I asked the USA, Hands & Voices and Prof. Karl White for help and they gave it to me.
Immediately.
They didn't NOT respond to my emails. They didn't say WAIT. They shared.

And that has made the difference in millions of Italian children's lives. Really.

And now my child.

My child left a comment on fb that he feels alone, like it's him against the world. He said it in a joking but serious kind of way. We're dealing with adolescence. I went through the same thing where my mouth was always lightyears quicker than my brain. Still is:-) We talk about this situation all the time. We're growing through it together. Still hurts to see your child experiencing growing pains.

I'm tired.
I'll be sleeping in tomorrow.
There's still so much work to be done.
And the work is working.

Does this Happen in Real Life?

Lindsey gave the heads up on facebook:
Deaf Discrimination: RIT/NTID Students Appear on ABC’s “What Would You Do?” Program
What happened when deaf students recently applying for a job at a coffee shop were met with these comments:

* “We don’t hire deaf people here.”
* “I’m sure you can do lots of things. But this is not the job for you.”
* “The next time you come in here, bring an interpreter.”
* “I think you people would rather work with people of your own kind.”

Did anyone witnessing the discrimination speak up?

That was the experiment students from Rochester Institute of Technology’s National Technical Institute for the Deaf conducted with ABC’s “What Would You Do?” program. The show uses hidden cameras to depict actors doing controversial things such as breaking into cars or obviously stealing a bicycle, and records what passersby do – or don’t do – when confronted with an ethical dilemma.

“We’re not out to embarrass anyone,” said host John Quinones. “It’s a lesson learned by the viewers at home, to speak up when they see an injustice.”

The 8-minute segment is scheduled to air this Friday (Feb. 4) at 9 p.m. EST on ABC.

Click here to read all about it!!