Saturday, April 5, 2008

Things that go BANG! in the Night

Have five minutes to write this, but it has to be done! Luca, I can't open my email account to write, call my mom's cellphone and take care of yourself...that's what ya get...told ya not to kiss me!

Okay, the rehearsal dinner was amazing! My stepbrother and his fiancee looked beautiful and so happy. I saw people I haven't seen in like twenty years and overall the men look really bald *smile*. Tonight...we will party.

Picture this. I'm finally sound asleep in a king-sized bed (the hotel is gorgeous, Jordan went swimming in his red undies, of course I forgot to bring a swimsuit)when I awaken to a BANG! I look at the clock, 4:20 am. Suddenly, I hear shouting coming from the room next door. "DO IT! JUST DO IT! PUT A BULLET IN MY HEAD! JUST DO IT!"

*freaking out*

I drop to the floor, pick up the telephone - can't see a thing because I don't have my glasses on - and dial "0" for the hotel reception desk. The person answers and I whisper, "I don't know what the hell is going on here, but there is a major fight going on and there could be a gun involved. SEND SOMEONE UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF IT NOW!"

The fighting continues, (Jordan, the lucky deaf child he is, sleeps on) "BRIANNA, YOU SLUT, WHY'D YOU DO IT? GO AHEAD! DO IT! DO IT!"
I'm thinking, "Don't do it, don't do it!"

I drop to the floor again and crawl into the other room where my sister is supposed to be sleeping (I'm feeling like I'm in the middle of an NYPD Blue episode and that gunshots could be coming through the walls at any minute)instead she is TALKING on the phone to her girlfriend. Unbelievable. The only problem is that she had sudden hearing loss in her left ear and can only hear with her right ear which is busy yapping to her girlfriend. I grab her and make her crawl into the other room to hear the fighting. FINALLY SHE HANGS UP ON HER GIRLFRIEND.

I grab a sleeping Jordan and drag him into the other room - they are still screaming in the next room - and Niki is now freaking out...mildly, I'm the insane one in the family.

And Jordan? Has no idea what is going on and he can't read my lips in the dark, and I still can't see because I don't have my glasses on, so we are the blind leading the deaf. Crazy situation.

Niki asks me to call the hotel lobby again, so I crawl back into the bedroom, pick up the phone and dial. They tell me they sent up security. Suddenly, there is no more shouting and I start to breathe. I crawl back into Niki's room, carry Jordan back into our bed and go back in to talk to Niki.

Apparently, the episode is finished, and so am I. I start hysterically laughing with Niki who is back on the phone with her girlfriend. Suddenly, Jordan comes back into the room and lies down. Niki and I are talking when Jordan stands up and asks if he can go to the bathroom. I say yes. He asks again, I say yes. He goes, "NO, I MEAN CAN I WALK TO THE BATHROOM?"


Gotta go get my hair done...
We'll be staying here tonight!!!!!!!


Anonymous said...

..ora sto un pò meglio... comunque, anche se me l'hai attaccata te, la voglia di baciarti era più forte di qualsiasi malattia... ;-P

Anonymous said...

oddio,che spavento!!!

VBnBama said...

Jodi, I can just see you so animated, retelling the story as you type crack me up even though I would have been slithering like a snake to get us out too. You're in NY remember, big difference from the virtually no crime area you live in. And yes, I'm jealous of the castle.

Anonymous said...

Ahhh, let's hope they were just rehearsing lines for the next day's show at the local community theatre :) .

I'm going to be a stone's throw (or at least a short boat ride to the east) away from you -- arriving at Port Jefferson in the morning for a quick celebration with family now far-flung from our old Long Island stomping grounds. I know that "Just do it!" accent well.

If you see telltale pigtails, grab us, and we'll try to catch you if I notice an adoring crowd surrounding a stunning woman with a European flair in a daring dress. Have lots of fun!

Naomi said...

Hmmm sunny down town Italia was looking pretty good there in the early hours of the morning then!!!

Glad to hear you could have a good laugh about it afterwards.

Oh and the castle - so to die for - have a great time! Oh and we want picture of said "show stopper" dress : - )

Karen Mayes said...

Laughing... that must have been crazy!

Blind leading deaf... yeah, what a way to coin this statement...