God I'm pissed off this morning! The freaking neighborhood cats are in heat and I have a male cat. Let me tell you the sound of female cats in heat is about as sexy as when a doctor looks in your ear...although, that would depend on the doctor. How hot is Patrick Dempsey???? Some women are so aggressive.
Anyway, for the past three months I've been waking up either at 3:31 am or 4:16 am consistently. 3/31 is my anniversary...and 4/16? Beats the hell out of me, but as opposed to two nights ago, I managed to sleep without dreaming, which would have been perfect had the sound of terrifying miaos and HARD scratching not kept waking me up. Then, suddenly, the light in my tired brain came on and I stuck my iPod in my ears to listen to this song. Ah...peace.
I woke up about an hour ago to my sister's response to yesterday's blog. Here it is, yeah that's my sistaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh:
Wow,I need to read my sister's blogs more often. And I feel like I need to reread these comments 10 times before I have a complete understanding of what everyone is saying. I am quite sure that everyone involved in some minority group goes through a similar experience be it language or not.
It is funny, just the other day, I was in a restaurant with my girlfriend and there were a group of women signing at the table across from us. They were showing a video to each other on adopting a baby. I was intrigued by the group and found myself gazing at them a number of times. I wondered what it was like to live in a world within a world. But then I thought to myself, I suppose I do that too being gay. I have a world within a world of my own. And I feel people's gazes upon me all the time. I used to be shy about affection and self expression, especially because I was a teacher at one point. Now, as I have grown more confident within myself and who I am, I do not care how the people around me perceive my interactions with my loved ones. I am myself and I am proud of who I am, and this world is mine for the taking.
I am here to teach and educate. I always have been, whether it be to children of all ages in the form of schooling, or to lgbt youth in the form of a role model. I can never understand why people within the lgbt community have issue with bisexual or transgendered human beings. It seems so much that we are all in the same spot, just trying to be accepted in this big world. Who are we to decide that one way of living is better than another?
It phases me now that the same controversies go on in the deaf world. CI verses sign language? It seems from reading this that people who choose to raise their deaf children one way can be opposed to another way to raise a deaf child. I wonder why people need to have such strong views that one way is better than another. I am guilty of this too. At one point in my life, I wanted my nephew to learn sign language. I feared that he would never be able to communicate with us. That he would never be able to communicate period. I was convinced that he would constantly be frustrated with no real language that he could grasp.
When he received that cochlear implant, to me, it was a miracle. A second chance for language. However, I still have the idea in my head that I would want him to learn sign language. But I guess over time i have learned to trust what my sister is doing with him. Who am I to make her decisions? Who am I to cast judgment upon how she raises her child. I can only try to be supportive and hope for the best.
I suppose for the most part, that has been the way she has acted toward me and my sexuality. And just for the record, it was the "lipstick intervention" and I will not comment further on it. I see many signing people at prides all over the country. That is like living a world within a world within a world. Amazing how people are resilient and survive this extremely harsh, opinionated world that we live in. I feel like i am babbling with not much of a point to make here.
I suppose I am saying that we all are just trying to be the best people we can be and make a difference. People are different, people are beautiful whether signing, gay, black, jewish, or whether they choose to where a cochlear implant and adjust to the hearing world. To each his own to be cliche. If we all could try and understand eachother, this world would be a much better place. Thanks Jodi for including me in your writings. You are a beautiful sister.Niki Cutler
*And you are a beautiful sister, too*