Monday, December 28, 2009
No one prepares us to be parents, you can babysit your life away, change 5000 diapers and be the teacher of the year- but when you hold your own child for the first time, the world changes. When you become a wife and a mother within four months time, you try so hard to satisfy both new elements that you get lost. No one prepares you to be a wife, especially when you are the child of divorced parents.
So, you stumble along trying to do the best you can, because all you feel is love and sleep-deprivation. Then, slam, just when you see the light and have it all just about balanced, your road is chosen for you and you follow it. The road takes over and dictates and dominates until it swallows you completely.
You hug curves, drop your stomach at the dips, do 200 mph in a 25 mph zone or 25mph on the highway- it's all about the road. Until one day you find traintracks along the road, so you stop. And in that one moment, that one fleeting moment, you spy a teeny, tiny sunflower by the side of the road and you are dying to get out of that car that you have been sitting in - always in the driver's seat- not to pick the flower...just to smell it.
So I did.