Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Christmas Country

The day of the twentieth reunion, I spoke to Debbie, excited to finally be able to see her. While we were talking, she made the comment that I sound like a pissed off cheerleader when I write and that I allude to the actual situation without really telling it like it is...which is true. I consciously try to explain the situation without explaining the situation. Baring the soul is not always the best means to an end, but maybe sometimes it's necessary. I've told it like it is regarding Jordan's experience, but not regarding the rest. For today, one time only, I am baring it all, because I know I can't possibly be the only one living this complicated situation.

I am a newly-separated Jewish woman living in Christmas-Land, where hypocrisy rules.

Until I got married, I never had a Christmas tree, Christmas lunch, dinner, day after lunch and dinner...that then stretches into New Year's Eve, and in Italy we're REALLY LUCKY that the holiday lasts until January 6th when the Befana flies in on her broom to give more presents. I have begun the countdown to the end...-27 days.

People are already running around bitching..."The kids are going to be home for three weeks, what a pain!"..."I have so much Christmas shopping to do and no money!" ..."The lines are so long and the prices are so high!"

I find myself wondering, hmm, how am I going to deal with this Christmas and my in-laws, obviously I have no other family here, so it's just me and them.

I spoke to my friend about this issue and she told me to reflect. I've been reflecting on the hypocrisy of Christmas instead of the beauty...the kids.

I love that my kids are home for the holidays and that we can snuggle up together. I adore that they have time to play.

The adults have so much bs to manage on a daily basis that magic has left their lives. And there is certainly a fine balance to making the Christmas holiday magical and not a period of spoiling your kids.

I have always appreciated Christmas as a time to spend with family for my kids to establish traditions that they will live as happy memories as they grow. They don't know that so and so is dying of cancer, that their aunt or uncle is in the middle of a divorce and can't stand his or her parents who don't support her, nor that grandma and grandpa just took out a second mortgage to pay for Christmas lunch and presents. They don't care. They want to look around the table and see the faces they love.

I choose to view this holiday season through the eyes of my kids and not through the hypocrisy of adults...that is why this holiday may quite possibly reveal the true meaning of giving.

image c/o


tammy said...

LOVE.this. I woke up very early the other morning with all these "stressors" of the holidays (and our upcoming move), got up at 3am to "work" on "my list" and said F*&# it. These are the holidays and I'm sick of running around like a mad woman and dealing with ugly people out there on top of it. I decided then and there that I needed to step back and enjoy what this holiday is about and put the magic into it not only for my kids, but for myself too. I talked to my husband that night about some new traditions we could create to pass on to our kids and how we need to push the stress of this move and closing on a house out the door and enjoy this time with our kids. I feel much much better.

BTW, I think of you often and how you're doing. Sending you a huge holiday hug from good ol' Baltimore!

Joey Lynn Resciniti said...

Must be an amazing time to live where you do, even if the holiday spirit isn't quite exhibited by everyone.

I'm posting a blog award for you tomorrow at my place: Big Teeth & Clouds. I hope you'll stop by to claim your prize!

Unknown said...

Tammy...thank you so much for your comment. Nice to be comprehended and I loved what you and your husband have done. Where are you moving??? Again??? How much stress can a person take???
Love you...

Joey- You are adorable, went to visit your blog-so interesting. I don't think I've ever won a blog award, so I can't wait to check it out tomorrow..thank you so much for reading...xoxo