Tuesday, May 27, 2008
The First 16 Months with a Deaf Baby...Christina
Today is Christian's CI Activation Day
(From Christina's Blog four days ago...)
I've been reflecting a lot on these past 16 months with Christian. It's amazing to think that these 16 months with him have gone by so incredibly fast. We have had SO much to deal with, just as new parents. The first couple of months were the hardest. I remember feeling angry at other parents who would complain about their children having food allergies, or nap problems, or their baby wouldn't want to be put down. I remember thinking to myself "God, if that is ALL I had to deal with, I would be forever grateful". I remember wondering how it would be to be a Mommy to a "typically hearing" baby.
I remember being jealous of other friends who didn't spend their weeks traveling from specialist to specialist for their kid. I would think to myself "Why can't life be like that for me?". I would detest hearing about which music class this family goes to, and how many words this little child speaks. I would hear other Moms fret about their child waking up to the sound of the mail being dropped in their mail slot thinking "AT LEAST HE CAN HEAR!". I remember countless nights of falling asleep crying, praying, and asking God "Why Us God, WHY?". I lived under a cloud of doubt and self-pity. I have no doubt in my mind that I definitely was depressed. Above all, I was angry.
And then, I woke-up one day, and literally, I felt brighter.
I realized that Christian would be fine. We would be fine. His laugh became my medicine, and I learned to take each day as a new adventure. And I know that I've said this time and time again, but once I learned to not let his hearing loss define who he is, I also learned to not let it define who I am either. I let go of the anger. And I embraced our life.
Christian has blossomed into such a beautiful and intelligent child. His language skills amaze everyone. He babbles, and has words, and he WANTS TO TALK. He is silly, and sweet, and is all boy. He is smart, he is loving, and he is curious. He is everything that I dreamt of, and prayed for. I wouldn't change a single thing about him, or our life.
So, here we are. Activation Day. I'm happy. I'm content. And I'm eagerly awaiting to see what else is on tap for our family.
Good Luck Tina and Co...This is ONLY the Beginning!