Sunday, October 18, 2009
Dreams and Reality
There are people who dream, plan, work and achieve.
There are people who dream, plan, work and never achieve, yet who manage to grow and evolve in the process of following that dream.
There are people who dream and do nothing. They talk a lot and every now and then refer to those dreams...but they remain stagnant. Their feet are so stuck in the earth that lifting a toe becomes painful- unless they have someone to hold their hand and guide them...
Then, there are those people who discover their child is deaf at four months of age and find that they must modify the dreams they once had given the new situation. I had a family call me this morning...very touching moment after a hellish morning in the house. Every time I'm about to go off the deep end for something so stupid, I receive a phone call from another family that snaps me back into action. Beautiful parents who want the best for their child, struggling through a series of emotions and putting them on the back burner to gather as much information as possible as quickly as possible. I told them they are so lucky to have found out so soon and that they have time to breathe and to become informed. The mom told me she saw various videos of Jordan and that they helped her find some peace in this situation...love that...
It's fall here in Tuscany and the sun tends to hide behind the clouds a little too often for my wants and needs. The faces of the people start to reflect that gray light and they smile so much less often. Kind of like hibernation in motion. When I feel myself becoming that shade of gray, I try to rebel, but it is so damn oppressive.
Yesterday evening, Jordan went to the amusement park with his friend Simone...ALONE! I dropped them off, said a prayer, and returned at 7 to pick them up. They were exactly where they needed to be at 7 on the dot...because they had run out of money:=) They talked the entire ride home, excited, because for the first time, they were both on their own with all the other adolescents- kind of like going to the mall to hang out without your parents for the first time. I asked Jordan if he was careful with his processor on the rides and he said yes. (He slept at his friend's house last night and when I walked in an hour ago to pick him up, my friend said, "Jordan, confess!" Apparently, Jordan's processor fell off while they were on the BUMPER CARS and by miracle was not smashed and destroyed. I kicked him in the butt, and thanked God)
Anyway, Jordan's growing up and doing typical teenage stuff..warms a Mamma's heart.
Since Jordan went to the amusement park yesterday, I took Sofia to the movies today. We saw FAME!!!! I am reborn. I'm quitting my job, returning to the USA and joining a School for the Arts to become a famous singer. Ok, not happening, but I am currently looking around town to see if anyplace has karaoke. You know, the film was gray. The school, gray...just like the atmosphere where I live. But there was a major difference.
The characters were brilliant and the spirit of the film...rainbow. This place lacks spirit and passion. If you have new ideas, initiative and exuberance...they fear you and try to crush you. This is the fundamental difference between Italy and the USA- spirit.
Now, when I heard this song during the movie, I had this bizarre emotional reaction as if this song was part of a traumatic moment from my past. I don't remember which traumatic moment, but I believe I must have found it motivational. Maybe it's the title- "On My Own"- highly appropriate given the circumstances.
In any case, I loved the movie, the spirit of the movie, and I loved that I held Sofia's hand the entire time. I snuck cuddles and kisses every now and then as I watched her little six year old eyes dreaming of becoming a star...
And as we well know...anything is possible.