Sunday, September 27, 2009
This post is an act of desperation and self-motivation.
My stress level, I swear, has never been as high as it is in this very moment. I usually have no problem juggling 5000 different things, but when you start having emotional trauma, it gets a little difficult.
I have to hear things like "Think of your kids!" "Who's paying you for what you're doing and the time it's taking from the kids?" THINK OF YOUR KIDS!
I will say this: In every single thing I do, I think of my kids. I think that I DO NOT want them to grow up with a provincial mentality even though they live in a town with just that. I want them to know that God gave them intelligence and the possibility to live that intelligence with compassion. When you are able to combine intelligence with compassion, it your responsibility to do something to help the next. I want them to understand and appreciate the fact that wealth is not only to be calculated by what is in your bank account, but that each and every one of us, based on experiences lived, begins accumulating personal wealth...and sometimes that interior richness far outweighs the possibility of buying a hot dress to feel good about yourself for two hours.
There will come a time when my kids will grow and begin seeing me as an individual- not just as a mom. They will look at me and judge me. They will have many questions that I will answer- they will either like my answers or not. Maybe one day they'll read my blog and be shocked that the woman wiping their butts, cooking and cleaning actually had thoughts, dreams and ambitions of her own.
Who knows whether they will admire me or resent me. I only know that I will continue giving them a view of the world at 360°, so that they will have a greater possibility of choosing their direction...on whichever island they may land.