Wednesday, December 26, 2007
THE GRINCH WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS LIVES UPSTAIRS FROM MY MOTHER-IN-LAW!!!
UNBELIEVABLE!! First of all, I haven't blogged because I can't freaking open my email, my server is constantly down...it is driving me CRAZY!!!!!! Okay, I'm calm, kind of, because Christmas here is like a 72 hour marathon of pasta al forno, chicken salad, crostini with sausage, mushrooms, fish stuff, eggs, salami, roast beef, fried polenta, french fries, potatoes, chicken broth and AMAZING tira mi su - my mil's specialty and WINE WINE WINE. I didn't eat that much this year, I'm watching my line:)But it is like a non-stop eatfest, you spend four hours at the table, sleep for two, and then plow in the car to go to visit friends where they shove more food down your throats. We went to my husband's cousin's podere, an amazing traditionally tuscan-styled farmhouse in the middle of the countryside, to die for beautiful, roaring fireplace and lots of family cheer. The game of the evening was PAN FORTE, a traditional Sienese Medieval Christmas something something that is a flat, round, rock hard disc of candied fruit, almonds, sugar, etc - I don't eat it and the people here throw it, literally, across a looooooong wooden table where the person who comes the closest to the end of the table without going off the table wins. It's kind of like the paper triangle football game that we played in Middle School during recess. Jordan rocked! I opted out after I sucked and spent my time in front of the fireplace listening to my NEW IPOD! WAHOOOOOO! I cannot believe I am finally home, exhausting three day marathon - and this is how it all started:
As I blogged in a previous post we were preparing to unmask Santa because Jordan is eleven and is the only one in Middle School who still believes - he's convinced- that Santa exists. Well, as my brother-in-law Alessandro prepared to dress up as Santa and left a couple of presents on the landing between floors of the condominium, I went outside to get some more packages to stuff "Santa's" bag. On my way outside, I saw a neighbor, a woman live-in who looks after an elderly woman, walk in the door to the condominium. We exchanged best wishes and she went on her way. I brought the extra packages inside, sat down and tried to calm down my hyper agitated can't-wait-for-Santa kids. As we're sitting there, I hear Alessandro, my father-in-law and my mil arguing because they couldn't find the packages they had left on the landing, they had disappeared. When they realized that none of the three had touched the presents, Ale went upstairs and knocked on this woman's door, who spent twenty-five minutes saying she had walked upstairs in the dark and hadn't seen any packages. Ale called me upstairs to identify the woman and when she saw me she suddenly changed her story to "Yes, I saw you as I walked in the condominium, walked upstairs in the dark, saw a couple of packages that I didn't touch and went in my house." Whoa! At that point her story had changed and Ale who is a police officer in Florence lost it totally! He screamed for ten minutes, threatening her and said he was going to call the police if she didn't whip out the presents...well, that must have convinced her because she hightailed her dishonest butt to her bedroom and SURPRISE SURPRISE PULLED OUT THE MISSING BAG OF PRESENTS!!!!! THIEF! GRINCH! CHRISTMAS WITCH! WOULD YOU WANT YOUR SICK MOTHER LOOKED AFTER BY A THIEF!!!
It took Ale twenty minutes to calm down and we were all in shock, times must be really bad if you have to steal a kid's Christmas presents!
AND NOW FOR THE MOMENT I HAD BEEN WAITING FOR...
After Santa came into the house, Jordan was flying out of his pants and Sofia...after one "HO HO HO!" said, "You're not Santa, you're Zio Ale!" (that's my girl!)(NOTE: don't think that the fact that Jordan couldn't hear Santa's voice has nothing to do with the fact that he believes in Santa)The kids opened their presents and my mil said, "Okay, Jordan, let's go unmask Santa!" I stayed with Sofia and this was the report back from the big event...
Apparently, when Jordan took off Santa's beard, the first thing he did was hug Ale with an ecstatic face, the second thing he did was say, "Zio, you're Santa Claus, but how is it possible that YOU give all the presents to all the children in the world!"
And...that's my boy!
SORRY THIS IS LATE, BUT MMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!!!!!