Yesterday I met with the Mom of a five year old deaf child. She was in crisis and her eyes were dead. After her son's diagnosis she continued working eight hour days, while her husband and mother-in-law watched her son. She had her baby when she was 25 years old.
So, I'm sitting there staring at this mother who I am not lying put Nicole Kidman to shame, assertive character, obviously extremely competent in her job. But 100% insecure. And she suddenly realized that she wanted to be a mom.
I told her she could be a mother if she wanted to be a mother, and that if she wanted to work part time, she could do that too. I told her to work on her delivery if she was sure that was what she wanted to do.
Her marriage is in crisis. She comes home stressed, angry and exhausted. I told her she needed to decide what was best for her, because THAT is what will help her child the most. She could commit herself to work and be happy in her job, come home a happy mother and spend one entire hour of happiness with her child. When you are fulfilled, your child is serene. Or, she could decide to dedicate her afternoons to her child and set her job straight.
We constantly underestimate ourselves in moments of transition. The insecurities prevail. I tried to listen and to help.