Monday, October 13, 2008

SEX


Hmm. Fell asleep with Sofia and had sweet dreams. Woke up to a nightmare of an email from an old friend. Raise your hand if you were molested as a child. Lovely topic of conversation, isn't it? I almost think that being molested as a little girl is a birthright, it happens so often. Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex...start saying the word over and over again if it scares you, prepare yourself to discuss private parts and that each and every one of us has our own private parts that only WE can touch, NO ONE else.


We have deaf children. Our kids grasp certain concepts much slower than hearing kids and that makes them easy prey. So, start with private parts, easy words, simple explanations, signs. Prepare them to go out into the world, conscious that their bodies are precious, and that they are their own PROPERTY.


Because shit happens... and I don't want it to happen to our kids.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your topic this evening prompts me to say how you have made so many wise decisions as a mother. For Deaf center schools and Deaf residential schools are harbors of sexual abuse. Staff rape and sexually abuse deaf children. Rampant! Those deaf children grow up to become rapists and sexual abusers of younger deaf children. Pervasive! It is a vicious cycle wherein virtually everyone who attended a Deaf school has been a victim of sexual abuse and/or rape. It's the biggest secret in the deaf community. Now doesn't this explain so much of what we see in the Deaf world today?

T.G.

Anonymous said...

Yeah,
Catholic church are harbors of sexual abuse too. Priest rape and sexually abuse choir boys. Rampant! Those choir boys grow up to become Priests too and become rapists and sexual abusers of younger choir boys. Pervasive! It is a vicious cycle too. It's not the biggest secret in the Catholic church.
Wonder if those priest or choir boys are deaf?

Dianrez said...

Appalled by the exaggerated implications by TG. I have grown up in the schools for the deaf and the deaf community, and it is nothing like what TG says. I wonder about his/her own background and how much it is affecting his/her perceptions.

Anonymous said...

Allow me to share what I know. I think T.G. could be exaggerating or perhaps T.G. experienced it and perhaps it is much more prevalent in certain schools than another. I do not know.

But, before I go on,

know that it happens to many children out there, whether one is deaf or hearing or blind or what have you.

Know that deaf children do not grasp concepts slower than others, unless one has a learning disability or worst.

Know that there are parents who failed to share a much needed information to deaf children because they do not know signs or are unable to communicate to their deaf child. Or never thought they would need to explain private parts to their deaf child.

Know that often, deaf parents have failed to communicate to their hearing child because their hearing parents themselves have failed to communicate that to the deaf parents when they were a child.

Sex abuses are probably more prevalent years ago than it is now, yet, that does not mean one should stop educating others.

From what was shared with me, most deaf residential schools were inundated with sexual abuses mostly between male students. It is very rare that it would happen between female students. (That would be from the school I attended.)

Many of these deaf students were abused by their family members at home prior to attending deaf schools as well. (Several stories of that nature was shared with me by the kids at the deaf school I attended.)

Statutory rape do occur between consensual male/female middle and high school kids. I was shocked to find 90% of my deaf classmates being sexually active during my freshman year with the opposite sex. This was in an era where it was not very common. (my hearing friends [freshmen]were all virgins at the time!)

Sex abuse occurs often between teachers/staff members and students (mostly at the high school level.)

The question now is, is it still happening? Are there safeguards in place at these schools now?

That, I don't know.

But, I have deaf nieces and nephews that attends a deaf residential school. I have discussed it with them and from what I know, nothing had ever happened to them as far as anyone trying to touch them or even suggested it. Their deaf parents have discussed it with them as well.

Sex education is very important between a parent and a child. The child needs to know that no one can touch them anywhere especially where their bathing suits covers them.

I moved to a small town to find that many hearing families' kids are being sexually abused by family members. The numbers were so high and it scared me, so I looked into it further and found that it is the same everywhere.

I feel blessed to have grown up in a family where my parents taught my siblings and I the importance of good and bad touch.

We cannot rely on schools to provide these information, as one deaf mom told me after she found out her daughter was abused by her step-father. "I thought the school would teach my daughter about these things because my parents never taught me that."

Sad, indeed.

Candy~

Anonymous said...

Hey you, quit point at Deaf School or Deaf residental school. Am point at parents or family members are responsible for sexually abuse. Not Deaf School. That's enough blaming. Am point at parents, governments, business, rich people, poor people, crime, naive, different countries, religions, etc. Think america have sexually abuse problem? I think not. Another countries are far more worst than america. What people do? nothing, Blame Deaf school? dont't. Think about that. Am silentredwolf.

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

I would like everyone to know that this post was in NO way making comments about Deaf Schools. I have ABSOLUTELY NO experience with Deaf Schools.
I am speaking as a mother and as a woman who was molested as a child, as so many of us were. I was hearing and had a voice that I finally used, but not immediately. I don't think I really had the words to be able to explain what was happening and if I did have those words, they were most likely attached to something shameful so that I did not want to use them.

I want my kids to have the necessary vocabulary to prepare themselves should they find themselves in an uncomfortable situation. If your child doesn't have a speaking voice, give them signs. Our private parts are ours and we can touch them as we please, we own them, no one else does. They are not toys, no one else can touch or play with them, use language a kid can relate to.

This isn't a deaf or hearing issue, however, based on my son's level of vocabulary, yes, certain concepts were and are more difficult to grasp...and much more difficult to verbalize. So, I am just raising the issue in the hope that one parent reading this will keep this in the back or front of his/her mind and communicate with his/her child.
There are a lot of sick people in this world, better to prepare our kids...deaf or hearing...catholic or otherwise.
To each his own and for our kids, more dialogue.

You can take your Deaf School stories elsewhere, unless you would like to share a personal experience.
Thank you,
Jodi

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

PS. Candy, thank you so much for your comment, Jodi

Karen Putz said...

Jodi, girl, a hug for you for what you experienced as a child. No one should ever have to go through that. :(