Okay Dad, you're going to have to read between the lines for this Happy Dadio Day post, because it isn't going to be the usual poem.
Today, I did something that I have never done in my entire life...I cut the grass of my 2 by 4 little yard, if you can call it that. I remember being so annoyed every Sunday morning, the one day I could sleep late, and I could have slept until noon, had I not been awakened every Sunday morning by all of the Dads on Nemo Road mowing their lawns.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMM, every single Sunday morning, I had no peace. But, when I banged open and slammed that screen door shut to go outside to play wiffleball, I saw shining green lawns everywhere, Happy Fathers using their tools to hedge off the finishing touches and there was this AMAZING smell of fresh cut grass breezing down Nemo Road. There must have been some unwritten law stating that a Mother could never come between a Father and his yardwork.
Today, I broke that law. Because, Dad, if there is one thing that haunts my head it's that you always complain when a lawn isn't neat and in order. That untidy yard ruins a neighborhood- when everyone else's lawn is in order, a messy lawn is just a really bad reflection of that homeowner.
Yes, home is where the heart is, but that lawn might as well be considered the eyes of that homeowner, and we can't have sad-looking eyes. So, today, I mowed the lawn...and I did it in 35 minutes flat, wearing a black tank top with a black lacy bra showing through and my french manicured nails clicking all the way up and down that 2 by 4 patch of unruly grass. The good news is that I didn't break a nail, the bad news is that I got a huge cut on my arm from a damn sticker bush. I sweated like a beast, because the sun was finally shining...I'm sneezing like crazy, because all that grass provoked my allergies...and I'm sitting back here reflecting on what is an extremely bittersweet moment in my life.
I'd just like to add that I also used a tool for the first time ever, those sharp grass-cutting scissors to snip those difficult to reach spots. My neighbors I think were in total shock at the sight...let them look. You can take the American out of America, but you CAN NEVER take America out of that American. (pause to consider that one...)
Happy Father's Day, Dadio...gotta go get a Hello Kitty band-aid for that scratch on my arm.
PS. There will be an announcement at the baseball stadium today before the game about RALLY CAPS. Jordan will be "throwing out the first pitch"...thanks for giving him the opportunity to live these incredible moments.
PSS. Sorry, can't give you what you asked for for Father's Day, hopefully next year.