Thursday, November 26, 2009

Carpe Diem

For many people today will be extremely painful. Whether you find yourself alone, a missing place at that table or surrounded by family members who do not understand you, today may be a painful place to be. I never realized just how hurtful holidays can be until I spent three days last Christmas, and Christmas is an acquired tradition for me...separated..walking around looking at smiling families carrying Christmas purchases under the glowing, happy Christmas lights.

I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but there are certain stores that when I walk inside, send me directly to the bathroom. (Nordstrom's Rack and TJ MAXX are two of those infamous ones)If I could avoid that crisis sweating situation by going directly to the bathroom, I would, but ya just have to wait til it hits you or the precautionary measures are futile.

Sitting around the Thanksgiving table may provoke some type of unexpected depressing rush that you cannot avoid by prepping yourself, as hard as you may try. For my friends who are parents of deaf children, your family members may stress you out by asking you "Why does she talk like that?" or even worse, "Why isn't she talking yet?" If you are deaf, the table conversation may be more than you can handle and the whole event may just be plain tiring and frustrating. This past year, I have been surrounded by shit and stepped in it, but I just shake it off, wipe it off and move on. I have learned to appreciate moments.

During my lowest moments I receive emails from people I don't even know telling me about difficult situations and encouraging me to write. Thank you so much to all of you.

I have been given the gift of Thanksgiving this year. I celebrated Thanksgiving when I walked into the home yesterday to see my Gram. She looked up from her wheelchair and screamed, "JODI!!!" No dementia yesterday. She was in rare form and even applied lipstick. Hilarious....haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

Tonight I will be with my parents at a restaurant with many missing places at that table. I will hold my mom's hand and tell her that I love her as I shove turkey down my throat.

Thirteen years without Thanksgiving is such a long time. Thank you to the people who have supported me, loved me and told me continuously to look forward. I give the same advice to those reading who find themselves in a Thanksgiving Day rutt. Look forward because it is only 24 hours long. Do not dwell on the empty placesetting, fill it with something that made you smile. Put on some lipstick and if you are not the lipstick type, gel up your hair.

And if things are really, really to your nearest Starbuck's and order up a Pumpkin Spice Latte heavy on the whip, cause that, my friends, is Thanksgiving in a cup.


Stephen said...

Maybe you got it from me.....happens EVERY TIME I enter a mall. I don't do malls anymore!! ()lol) Enjoy your dee-nor - I'll be thinking of you and u, dad

Jo (Australia) said...

This is insightful writing at it's peak. I had tears in my eyes as I read this amazing piece. While we dont celebrate Thanksgiving here in Australia, I can identify those identical feelings at Christmas. How many Christmases have passed with sadness, longing, lonliness and a missing place at the table.

You are an amazing person Jodi, and through your blog I have identified so much of myself in you. You make me smile, laugh and now even cry. This is a rare gift. Keep writing and keep holding your head up high, as you inspire others to do the same.

Hope you're enjoying your trip back home and had a memorable Thanksgiving. Here's hoping for an amazing Christmas for all of us, with only positive, grateful feelings for what we DO have! LOL Joxx

Unknown said...

Ok Dad...hahahaha, hope you had fun at the Foxes- I ate wayyyyyyyyyyy toooooooooooooooooo muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch!!!!! And it was damn good!

That was SO NICE!!! If you get it as well as you did, it means you had a lot of suffering going on...I hope you pass the upandcoming holidays in peace. And I really hope to one day meet you. (in Australia *smile*)

Anonymous said...

Thank You for that Thanksgiving blog. It was really touching and I found myself self "you are so right!" I am thankful today for so much but on my long list is reconecting with you and reading your amazing blog! You should write another book jodi!
enjoy your trip
deb b

Anonymous said...

May your Hanukkah shine as brightly as the lights of your menorah and as the warmth you spread all over the world. You're a special mother, daughter, friend and woman. I'm proud of you for following both your heart and your dreams. xo P