Carpe Diem

 

For many people today will be extremely painful. Whether you find yourself alone, a missing place at that table or surrounded by family members who do not understand you, today may be a painful place to be. I never realized just how hurtful holidays can be until I spent three days last Christmas, and Christmas is an acquired tradition for me...separated..walking around looking at smiling families carrying Christmas purchases under the glowing, happy Christmas lights.

I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but there are certain stores that when I walk inside, send me directly to the bathroom. (Nordstrom's Rack and TJ MAXX are two of those infamous ones)If I could avoid that crisis sweating situation by going directly to the bathroom, I would, but ya just have to wait til it hits you or the precautionary measures are futile.

Sitting around the Thanksgiving table may provoke some type of unexpected depressing rush that you cannot avoid by prepping yourself, as hard as you may try. For my friends who are parents of deaf children, your family members may stress you out by asking you "Why does she talk like that?" or even worse, "Why isn't she talking yet?" If you are deaf, the table conversation may be more than you can handle and the whole event may just be plain tiring and frustrating. This past year, I have been surrounded by shit and stepped in it, but I just shake it off, wipe it off and move on. I have learned to appreciate moments.

During my lowest moments I receive emails from people I don't even know telling me about difficult situations and encouraging me to write. Thank you so much to all of you.

I have been given the gift of Thanksgiving this year. I celebrated Thanksgiving when I walked into the home yesterday to see my Gram. She looked up from her wheelchair and screamed, "JODI!!!" No dementia yesterday. She was in rare form and even applied lipstick. Hilarious....haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

Tonight I will be with my parents at a restaurant with many missing places at that table. I will hold my mom's hand and tell her that I love her as I shove turkey down my throat.

Thirteen years without Thanksgiving is such a long time. Thank you to the people who have supported me, loved me and told me continuously to look forward. I give the same advice to those reading who find themselves in a Thanksgiving Day rutt. Look forward because it is only 24 hours long. Do not dwell on the empty placesetting, fill it with something that made you smile. Put on some lipstick and if you are not the lipstick type, gel up your hair.

And if things are really, really bad...run to your nearest Starbuck's and order up a Pumpkin Spice Latte heavy on the whip, cause that, my friends, is Thanksgiving in a cup.

Mellowing out...

Geeze, I must have really hit an all-time low yesterday, people are still commenting with good cheer-lol. Yes, I am the resilient type and all of you are really, just beautiful. People spend so much time complaining how everyone is so negative, I tend to focus on the positive, and it's overwhelming. Val just wrote in with some advice about sunsets and sunrises and stuff and told me to dance naked with no one watching, or maybe she didn't say naked (I just added that-not Val's style)to some jammin' music. I'm taking her advice, can't get naked cause I still have bronchitis, but I'm sure I'll get creative in some way or another. My iPod's freaking out on some shuffle function that I can't figure out how to readjust, so I have to manually select my songs, so annoying.

Last night Jordan wanted me to lay down next to him to put him to sleep, one of those bonding, "I'm there for you" moments that warms the heart of all mothers and blogreaders lol. If I can't laugh at myself...I have been doing a lot of that lately.

And when you just can't find the strength to laugh at yourself, that's what friends are for! I met Sonia at the Bar Stiacciole for our regular morning cappuccino, which is quite the comedy because I have no voice, can't talk, sound like a big, fat hiccup and burp combined whenever I try to utter a sound. Obviously, this means I'm outta work and can't shop, life REALLY sucks right now. Anyway, there has been a major transformation at the bar, because the owner Francesca, another good friend and Italian blogger who also loves Norah Jones, booted the two ogling old men who hit on us every morning. Damn! They weren't that obnoxious and despite being toothless and horny, their presence definitely made for an interesting beginning to every boring day of work.
However, the decor...um improved dramatically, especially because she added flowers to every table, adjusted the lighting and had some Nina Simone playing on the stereo. Amazing how some really good jazz can rock your world. Yesterday I was looking for the song she had playing but I couldn't find it in the full-length version, but I did find that other cute little one about "Forbidden Fruit..."
the story of my life. Talk about forbidden fruit, Adam Levine has just ousted boring Patrick Dempsey with this song, he has given "Kiwi" a totally new meaning. It was like entering another bar until my friends started making fun of me, happens all the time - it's what I get for being the token American. First they called me a "gran fica," and that "I got" (certain things just can't be translated) Then, they called me a "fiore di fica" but I still don't know what they meant, there's nothing worse than being the brunt of a joke you just don't get. I didn't laugh, wasn't in the mood to social bluff. And, I wasn't feeling like a "gran-fica" considering I've been condemned to sick housearrest and parenting skills reinforcement 101.

And my husband?
The perfect husband.

Aside from the "Middle School Throwing Desks Drama," the past two days he has single-handedly taken care of two children, laundry, meals, homework and still managed to make me fresh-squeezed orange juice and tea (that I did not ask for, I'm really not high-maintenance or that bitchy)AND even brought me home gelato from Papete - you ain't tasted nothin' til you've tasted gelato from that place. Caaaareamy and dreamy.
And you know he's just waiting...waiting til I feel better. Men. I know, I am a very lucky woman...*smile*

I got an email from Jill yesterday, an inspirational woman who I have had the privilege of meeting through one of the yahoo support groups, and she is sending JELLYBEANS - JOLLY RANCHER FLAVOR- for Easter to lil' ole me and of course the kidlings!!!! She said she's gonna throw in some National Geographics articles too! Gotta love those emails...and surprise emails from friends, you really didn't know were friends until they suddenly demonstrate that they really care about you. Blogging has really been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life...

Then, my dad sent an email complaining that my email address is bouncing back emails, I have no idea why this is, but it keeps happening, maybe because I have about 1,400 in my inbox. UPDATE: I just checked my emails...there were only 12 - I just had 1388 emails OBLITERATED *WTF!!!* I am now in a profound crisis situation. Dealing...You can only imagine the condition of my house. I wonder which will explode first. He also told me to check out an article on pressbox online, we're in it...Check out what Barry Silverman wrote (THAAAAAAANKS Barry:))Okay, here it is...
RIPKEN AND RALLY CAPS

A very special congratulations to local authors Jodi Cutler Del Dottore and her father Steve Cutler on receiving a hearty endorsement from Cal Ripken Jr. of their co-written book "Rally Caps."

The book, geared to children, tells the story of a child with a cochlear implant who helps a teammate overcome his fear of getting hit by a pitched ball. The story was inspired by Jodi’s son, Jordan, who has a cochlear implant and was written to show that hearing-impaired children are just like everybody else and can be heroes, too.

As Ripken said himself, “‘Rally Caps’ is a heartwarming book about perseverance and courage. Congratulations to Steve and Jodi for taking the challenges in their lives and turning it into a wonderful book that helps teach valuable lessons of acceptance and resilience to kids and adults alike.”

I know you're all getting sick of hearing about book stuff, but this is just another article promoting awareness of the cochlear implant. Through the ups and downs of my daily life, the battles unknowingly and unintentionally provoked and the bridges miraculously built...my only humble intention was to create a little more awareness and give you something you may not have known you even needed.
What is so strange about all of this, is that I'm the one being given something I never even realized I needed, unbelievable.