Tuesday, July 1, 2008

*WTF* Pissed Off...Again!

I have been somewhat absent for a couple of weeks, so I just started catching up on my blogs. Christina posted this, and here is what Jean left as a link on her blog. It could be the 105°heat and 100% humidity, or I might just be rightfully PISSED OFF at this little article...

Slow Deaf Child
June 29, 2006

Deaf Children = Wild Animals?: You’ve probably seen those yellow signs by the roadside that announce “SLOW Deaf Child” or “Caution: Deaf Child Area”. Are these signs really necessary? Deer, cows, and ducks may occasionally have their own signs, but do Deaf children need them? Deaf children are not wild animals. They can be taught how to play outside and cross the street safely. The problem is not that they are Deaf. The real problem is society - the attitude of parents, caretakers, and even some schools. They may believe that Deaf children need special treatment. They may lack fluent signing skills, making it difficult for them to teach and discipline their Deaf children. Or they may simply be too lazy to make an effort to teach about street safety. Any children - Deaf or hearing - who haven’t been taught to stay out of the street, should not be outside unsupervised in the first place. Putting up signs like these does nothing but spread the idea that Deaf children are disabled, helpless, or lacking intelligence. A far better solution is to teach Deaf children how to be independent and self-reliant, both of which will do a whole lot more for their self-esteem than a yellow sign.

*Note: the Italian word for this is "CAZZZZZZATE!"*
*The proper term in English would be "BULLSHIT!"* (*SMILE*)

This was Christina's reply to Jean's Blog:
Jean-I'm not sure if that blog link you sent me was meant to accuse me of being a lazy parent who lacks sufficient parenting skills to manage my kid. If nothing else, I hope these signs will help my neighbors in a very busy neighborhood be aware that there is a little boy on a trike that can't hear as well as the rest of their kids. We live in an area where people honk their horn as they back out. My son can't hear that. I do believe that my child has a disability, and I do everything in my power to make his life easier. His safety is always first on my mind. While he is NOT a wild animal, he is a toddler. A deaf toddler, who needs all the help he can get right now.

Then...Christina posted this:

Enough is Enough
This blog was always intended as a place to share my ups and downs as a hearing parent to a deaf child. It was designed to be a spot to highlight our journey, pass along tips and resources, and to just be a place where I could share the beautiful moments that I share with my son. I've met some amazing people, and formed some lifelong friendships through this blog. It has been a blessing in my life.

This blog was NOT designed to become a forum for the Deaf Community to ridicule and judge my decisions. Over the months, I received comments from people accusing me of raping my child by giving him a Cochlear Implant. My communication methods were judged. The choices I made, the things that I said, EVERYTHING was judged. Judged by a community that I so desperately want to be a part of and understand. In my post today about the Deaf Child signs that are being placed, I was pretty much accused of being a lazy parent relying on signs for my kids safety. It even accused me of treating my kid like a wild animal.

Congratulations, Deaf Community. You've just pushed another person away.

While I know that the entire Deaf Community is not like this, there are a few vocal and loud folks who always seem to find a way to rain on a Mom's parade. Who feel it's their place to tell a hearing parent how to raise their child. Who feel that somehow, they could do a better job than me. I've sucked it up, I've taken it all in stride. Until today.

Comments that were left on my blog today make me sick. They show just how divided the Deaf Community really is.

There's only so much of this I can take. I'll be moderating my comments for now on. I don't want this joyful site to turn into a hate-filled place.


*WTF??*

24 comments:

Christian's Mommy said...

Oh Jodi, you have NO idea how TICKED off I was. Can you believe that bullshit? I mean, come on.

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

Hello, Girlfriend! I did notice that you were quite ticked off *smile* which is rather unlike you and your sunny disposition, so...I felt the need to elaborate. Kiss, kiss, Jodi

dog food said...

hmm... i liked those signs. they saved many a paint job from smashing on my head a couple times when i couldn't hear the car coming around the bend.

Anonymous said...

Never had that sign on my street. My parents didn't see the need for it. But, I know of several deaf parents that got one put on their street for their deaf kids. Peace of mind? Maybe they don't trust the hearing drivers? who knows....

Candy~

Anonymous said...

I always feel that it doesn't hurt to remind/inform others that someone might have a hearing loss and there'd be no way to tell. I'm an adult, but I frequently walk or hike on trails shared with bicyclists or equestrians. As you know, it's the custom to call out ("on your left!") when passing walkers. But I wouldn't hear it. Instead, my fitness partner and I check over our shoulders often or walk as far to the right as we can. We have joked about wearing bright orange t-shirts with "DEAF" in large capital letters and with battery-operated flashing warning lights on our backs.

Anonymous said...

only problem with that sign is that it does not work when the deaf child is not near the home, especially when hanging out with the other kids in the neighborhood.

As a deaf child, I have been hit by a car a few times, fortunately, none seriously enough to warrant a visit to the emergency room. But the nearest place where I was hit by a car was 4 blocks from my house so those signs would not have worked in my situation.

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

From a hearing person's point of view, the DEAF CHILD sign was one of the few signs that actually made me slow down. The fear of hitting a child who could dart into the street at any given moment, was a helluva lot more effective than a speed bump in slowing me down. Jodi

Anonymous said...

I don't understand why you are pissed off. The article makes sense to me. We don't need Deaf signs. If hearing parents need peace of mind, why can't they ask for "Slow Children" signs instead of blaming it on DEAF children? We have four children - two hearing and two Deaf. It is always funny to watch how our two Deaf children telling our hearing children to watch out. Our Deaf children have good eyes...as good as our hearing children's eyes.

M.S.

Anonymous said...

Should we have signs?

"Slow: Autistic Children"
"Slow: Mentally Retarded Children"
"Slow: ADHD Children"
"Slow: Special Needs Children"
"Slow:_____ Children"

Our street will be full of signs. We don't need to slow down for hearing children?

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

Dear M.S.,
I would agree with the "Slow Children" sign. I disagree with comparing children to animals as the article does. Christian is not the same age as your kids, he's nineteen months and does not have the ability neither to hear oncoming traffic, nor warn another child of oncoming traffic as do your children (thankfully).
The idea of a DEAF Children instead of a Slow Children sign is a subtlety that has a greater impact on the driver of that car.
Thanks for your comment. BTW, I was "pissed off" because when parents like Christina who are new parents, try to reach out to a community and are mistreated, to a point that provokes closure, it "pisses me off."

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

Dear Anonymous...I DO think we need signs. What exactly the signs may say can be reasonably debated, but there is a need for signs. Anything that may serve in assisting or protecting our kids is a valid point to consider.
Should a Deaf individual be insulted because the need for such a sign exists? I don't know, because perhaps Jordan would react the same way as an adult, thinking that such a sign is insulting his intelligence or state of independence as a Deaf individual.
However, from the perspective of a parent who recognizes an element of danger for her toddler, that sign represents a bit of reassurance in a time of great uncertainty.
Thank you for your comment. Jodi

Anonymous said...

Should we have signs?

"Slow: Autistic Children"
"Slow: Mentally Retarded Children"
"Slow: ADHD Children"
"Slow: Special Needs Children"
"Slow:_____ Children"

Our street will be full of signs. We don't need to slow down for hearing children?

Anonymous said...

A 19 month old child needs SUPERVISION, not a sign! It is scary thinking that parents think they need signs. ALL children need to be supervised until they can watch out for cars. Deaf or hearing! Animals obviously can't be trained or taught about cars. That is why they need signs!

Christian's Mommy said...

To the anonymous poster who thinks that I believe that a sign will do my parenting for me, GET REAL. Do you honestly think that is the reason why I want to get these signs on my street? I'm so sick and tired of people assuming that a hearing parent who wants to alert the neighborhood with these signs is lazy. Get over yourself.

Anonymous said...

If there are no signs for hearing people, let's run over them?

Anonymous said...

Why not "Slow DBC members playing"

Anonymous said...

A parent can have a peace of mind by putting up a sign for all children. It does not have to be for DEAF ONLY. There are plenty of children who can benefit from signs including hearing children. Parents who want Deaf signs are too focused on their deaf children's inability to hear.

LOL about running over hearing children!

Amy said...

I'm deaf and I agree with christian's mommy, it is useful to alert driver about deaf children crossing, I wish my parents got that for me because I can't tell you how many time I almost got hit by a car even now I'm 20 and sometimes I didn't think about it and cross street and almost got hit cuz I can't hear it without CI. I remmeber my mom told me when I was 3 I just ran out and stood middle of street randomly and she was so scared so she got me hearing aid hoping it'd help me hear cars coming.
And it DOESN'T makes parents lazy for having sign up, its the kids they are unpredictable they could run randomly to road and get hit.

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

"LOL about running over hearing children???" There are some sick people in this world...please do not frequent my blog in the future. I have no patience for sick individuals. Jodi

Dianrez said...

Having had both deaf and hearing children, I support those signs.

There is a huge practical difference between hollering "STOP!" at a hearing child about to run into the road and having a 200-foot long reach to grab a deaf child in the same situation.

We lived on a corner in a suburban division, and that sign was gratefully appreciated by many neighbors for slowing down the crazy teens that would screech around the corner.

When the town took down the sign at my child reaching age 14, many neighbors commented that they missed its influence.

Seek Geo said...

Hi Jodi!

Oh gosh, I must have missed out a lot of what is going on until just this. First things first, I have to be honest that I do not agree with these "Deaf" signs, I can tell you for one reason. When I was little, there was a law required in the city that a sign must be put up to warn incoming drivers that there is a deaf child living in the area (which is me, of course). A few weeks later, next thing I know, I was beaten up badly with rocks being thrown at, I've been mocked at for my signs, etc and it was horrible. It has been going on for two years before we finally moved out. You can say probably because we lived in very bad area but anyways, now that I think about it.

My question is why is it necessary to announce that there is a deaf child living in the area? Do you know for the fact that hearing children get hit by cars more than deaf children? Maybe you can argue that because there are large ratio of hearing children than deaf but remember, hearing people tend to depend on their hearing while deaf people depend on their eyes to look out.

Deaf or not, signs should be up for to look out for children so it should state SLOW: Children Area. So that way it includes every type of child out there, deaf, blind, etc.

Just my two cents.

Second thing, I find it funny that some commentators kept saying "hearing parents put up signs for deaf kid." Don't they know that there are deaf parent(s) who actually put up signs for their deaf kids, also. Of course, again.. I do not agree but I respect their decision regardless.

Third, I just wanted to apologize to her and anyone for these horrible comments regarding "raping" and more - these people obviously have no idea the definition of "rape", this is totally unacceptable. I'd suggest for them to look up what it means. Sure, I have my opinions but I always respect others as long as they respect mine.

My favorite motto: Respect others the way you want to be respected.

There is great deaf people out there who will welcome you and others no matter what, so hope you and them don't feel being pushed away by a few idiots.

Hugs!

-SG

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

Hugs to you, you cute Geo! Jodi

Abbie said...

I happen to be one of those children that had not ONE but TWO deaf children signs posted on the street. I felt that it was to alert the hearing drivers that there might be a deaf child lurking about playing Manhunt or something.

I have seen several signs for an Autistic Child and Blind Child. Autistic children are known to run away and dart. It doesn't hurt to have a sign there to slow drivers down.

Karin said...

I found your blog through a web search for the story about the vernon teen and got distracted by how cool it was that you are living in italy and then that you are a parent of a child with CI.
I have 2 almost 3 year olds with hearing loss. They have too mush residual hearing for CI and are doing well with Hearing Aids. However they are toddlers so they are very curious about the world around them. My daughter ran into the street one day when two responsible adults were watching her so that she could go to my husband who had just crossed the street. We live on a 25 mile street with a SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING sign but I still went to the town to ask for DEAF child signs. I can't stop every idiot but I can make some of the area drivers aware especially since we live in rural New Jersey and SUV's are still the dominate vechicle. My daughter is a tiny munchkin dare devil who is very independent so I will do whatever it takes to protect her and her brother.
While Hearing Loss is not life threatening it is life changing and there is a learning curve to it all. I hope to have 18 years to get some of it down.
I couldn't not let the wild animal comment pass on the other blog so check out my post there.
As to the negative deaf community comments I see it as another form of bigotry and we are all rosa parks at the front of the bus. or as the greeting card says "don't let the turkeys get you down"