Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Apple Never Picked

Sometimes life gives us a break when we least expect it, sometimes, we realize we desperately needed it. It's a contradiction, we don't want the limbo, but we need it to absorb and reflect. It is so damn difficult to be a woman with principles in a world full of shit. I am encountering levels. Levels set limits and as much as I was against limits, considering them boundaries, they must be respected. So, as one part grows, the other remains stagnant. So many lessons to learn. Life.

There is peace in laundry and washing floors, something so routine. There is peace in screaming siblings and homework war. And there is peace in kissing my kids goodnight.

So much in this blog has been left unsaid. At the same time, so much has been created just using words. Words.

Two years ago, before I went to speak to the President of the Pediatric Federation I had a dream. I was a nervous wreck until I had this dream. I entered a Victorian-style home. It was empty. I walked straight through the house and exited the door opposite the entrance. I found myself in an apple grove where the apples were on the trees yet they were not ripe. The trees were filled with apples, hundreds of apples. I smiled and returned inside the house. This time there were a lot of people inside the house, as if they wanted to buy it. I found myself next to two men, who turned and asked me how much the house cost. I said I don't know, but I'm sure it costs a lot. Then, I looked to my right and saw a spiral staircase leading upstairs. I asked, "Have you been upstairs?" They looked at me surprised, they hadn't noticed the staircase. I broke for the staircase and started the climb upward. Then, I awoke.

When I awoke from my dream, I smiled, the President's last name is "Apple". I had no doubt how my meeting would go. It was only a matter of time...

I have lived struggling to create work limbo, accepted the end of a marriage limbo, and suffered through the give me some damn respect limbo.

This is a different type of woman limbo and these are the periods when we grow. Life requires that we prioritize, we just need to listen.


Debbie said...

I remember playing "the limbo rock" at Joel and Gary Bat and Bar Mitzvah parties. Remember? The cool thing about limbo is that when you actually jump in and give it some effort -- the people holding the limbo stick are usually forgiving. It's like, if you're actually going to put in the effort -- we'll help you through it by raising the stick juuuusssstttt enough to let you pass under it so you can stay in the game. You're still in the game Jo -- you must be doing something right! xoxo

Anonymous said...

what a beautiful post!
debbie b