The Fonz or Raoul Bova...Stereotypically Italian? -Part 1

(Still laughing after two days) I went back to work on Friday despite the fact that I sounded like a toad and was half-dead, much better than staying in the house. I "bravely" faced my pre-school beasts armed with "Home Alone" in Italian. The teacher was so happy to see me and have an hour break that she whipped that dvd player right out and went on her way. My middle school group...they killed me once again. This is how the scene went down...

Simone asks, "Jodi, what does 'Sexy' mean?" See, now that question kind of confused me because "sexy" is the same thing in Italian as it is in English. The other two in the group looked at him like he was crazy and it got worse, because the question was loaded. He's the one in the first year of high school and just got his motor scooter that he's obsessed with, that and girls. Apparently, he would like to put a sticker with the word "SEXY" on his motor scooter. Unacceptable. Tattooing the word "Sexy" on a motorbike is completely Anti-Sexy and NO student of mine will ever be considered UnSexy.

I tried to explain to him that a "sexy" person does not wear the word "sexy" across her chest. It's a question of ATTITUDE. "Sexy" is a label that OTHERS give YOU, you don't give it to yourself. I told him it was VERY cheesy. (do people still use that word? I've been out of the loop for so long...)

Try to explain "Cheesy" to Italians. When they say something in English, incorrectly, like when they use double negatives, I tell them they sound like 50 Cent...they "get" that. But "Cheesy" is Anti-Italian.
*This is Cheesy*
*This is a typical Italian woman* (Note: I'm not kidding, they ALL look like this here)
*And SHE (The Italian Vanna White) is the closest thing to "Cheesy" that you will ever find in Italy* (Note: SHE was imported from Canada)

Italians are a stylin' population, contrary to American stereotypes of Italians. This is so complicated to explain without visuals, so here you go:

*American stereotype of an Italian guy*
*Real Live Italian Guy*
JUST KIDDING!! This is more like it... I will say that in eleven years of living in Italy, I may have looked twice at about ten men...too thin and femmy for me. I am definitely in the right place.

When I tried to explain these stereotypes of the typical Italian guy to Perla, her mouth dropped to the floor. She also couldn't understand the concept of "Cheesy," just doesn't happen here.

However, teenagers walk around wearing this t-shirt (Sofia will NEVER walk around town in one of these):

Simone wanted to stick it on his motorbike. He said, "Well, Valentino Rossi wears WLF on his gear!" I said, "What is WLF?" The three were somewhat embarrassed for all of three seconds and then, excited to teach ME something, said,"Viva la Fica!" Of course, you know the next question out of their mouths was, "How do you say that in English?" I said, "NOPE, not this time, kids." A professional English teacher has to draw the line somewhere! WLF means LLP...you figure it out...cause I ain't going there with y'all either.

Have a great Sunday!

The Power of Words...Which Language? A Response to Karen Mayes' Dad

Just downed another yogurt and banana, because I will maintain my new body at least until I have to get into that dress for the wedding! And now, the Italian construction workers cheer when I walk by instead of the normal once-over. Although, don't lose your pants...the toothless Italian construction workers are NOTHING like those muscular sweaty-hot American ones. Damn. Anyway, I almost did not make it home in one piece today because as I tried to pass a VERY slow-moving car, I almost crashed head-on into an oncoming van...almost, but not quite, so here I am still alive and typing like a madwoman. Why are there only 24 hours in a day? DING. Jordan's pizza is ready. The child eats pasta with ricotta, pizza or chicken fingers, not the best diet, but since I so do not "cook" in the kitchen...

Moving on...

Karen Mayes left me a comment her dad sent her yesterday, and when dads send comments, they must be addressed, especially this whopper (note: I will separate it into paragraphs for the commenter who complained):

"I read the blog from the woman living in Italy with her CI son. I enjoyed it very much. Somewhat related, I have been listening to lectures on great novels and today the professor was talking about how useless words are. They are horrible representations of what we see, feel, think and indeed say. What exactly do the words honor, faith, melancholy, blue, beautiful, upset, lovingly etc. etc. mean?

People, hearing and I assume deaf, will argue along the lines, "You said (fill in the blank) which tells me you mean (fill in the blank). Answer, "I said (fill in the blank) but not with that inflection you just used which changes what I meant." A recent book was written by a woman and the title was something along "Are You Wearing That Dress?" a question asked of a daughter by her mother. You can have a lot of fun with that question depending in what context the question was asked, the relationship between the mother and daughter and the different inflections used in the asking. Maybe it is a simple question or maybe it is a criticism. Words mean what ever we say they mean. They are always contextual and suffer from different interpretations. But words are wonderful and can paint beautiful pictures.

The professor talks about a scene in a Faulkner novel where the character goes out at night to take a drink from the bucket of water with a dipper and says he scatters the stars with the dipper, bringing alive the image of the reflection of the stars in the bucket but also eluding to the idea of the Bid Dipper and Little Dipper scattering the night stars.

Might be an area you might want to open to discussion with your group. I assume there are misinterpretation in ASL as well as the hearing world. It would be productive to see how people can learn not only how to hear each other but how to listen to what each is trying to say with the inadequate tools of words and signs.

One last thought. Scientist use the term "sensory probes" when discussing our senses. Touch, hearing, sight, smell are all sensory probes used to navigate our environment. What do you call deaf or sightless animals??? Lunch.. Many people do not like the idea but we too are animals and if we do not have the full use of all our senses we are at an disadvantage to compete. You will not wind up as someone else's lunch, but deafness is a disadvantage.

Seems reasonable to me one would want to improve his or her completive position, by getting an education, staying healthy, using a wheel chair if crippled, Braille if blind and maybe a cochlear implant if deaf. I plan on getting a hearing aide when my hearing falters. I do not plan on joining my local ASL group to discover my deaf heritage. Do you think I would be a happier, more complete person if I had joined some German Society when I was young to get in touch with my German heritage? I think it is wonderful that there is a support group to turn to that gives the history of the deaf and sense of pride the ASL groups intend to offer. But limit their appeal by requiring conformity..."

KM's Dad...POWERFUL WORDS that cover a variety of arguments. First of all, I love words, playing with words, sending subliminal messages and subliminally transmitting my thoughts to anyone who wants to understand. Paotie does that in his blog and that's why I enjoy reading his posts. Mishka and Aidan blog in a more straightforward passionate manner and oftentimes use text, quotes and research to support their words. My knowledge of Italian has only improved my take on English and the combination of the two languages enables me to make my points in a more specific manner. Italian is a culturally rich language full of euphemisms, idioms and words that really know how to specifically reflect an emotion, it's a very Romantic language.(interruption: Jordan and Simone just got home. Saturday night Jordan taught Simone the Twinkle Twinkle Little Star song on his guitar and Simone is now playing it. Beautiful. I'm imagining my son playing for the ladies around a beach campfire, he is the type.) I can only imagine how ASL and English play together when the individual has total visual and auditory access.

I do agree with your question, "What exactly do the words honor, faith, melancholy, blue, beautiful, upset, lovingly etc. etc. mean?" Sometimes, we don't really even know ourselves the meanings of these words until we actually live them, and then, only by explaining the experience can we give meaning to such general terms. Explaining the experience in such a way as to give meaning to such words is art in and of itself...I think Aidan created art in her post, because she managed to convey her feelings using words that touched me. I don't have to agree with her, but I can appreciate the art in what she is saying.

"Words mean what ever we say they mean. They are always contextual and suffer from different interpretations." I agree with this statement, as well, but don't forget to add other factors...body language, eyes and the audience. If I write, "I'm unwrapping a lollipop" to my girlfriend (depending on the girlfriend) and if I say the same thing to a guy friend (doesn't matter which guy friend) interpretations may vary, also depending on how well the person knows my personality. If I say this to a certain person and add body language and serious eye contact, the statement assumes an entirely different meaning. For now, let's just stick to the written aspect, though. The same thing has occurred in our discussions about the word "Fix." Interpretations are not always about taking it from the source, rather, the audience plays an important role in "getting" what the author is saying. That audience has a variety of experiences behind the words that the author just may not have...and this is the response to your point: "It would be productive to see how people can learn not only how to hear each other but how to listen to what each is trying to say with the inadequate tools of words and signs."
"Many people do not like the idea, but we too are animals, and if we do not have the full use of all our senses we are at an disadvantage to compete." I am an animal, no debate there. In regard to the rest, being at a disadvantage to compete is directly related to your environment and your desire for competition. Hearing people are the majority, so if you live in that environment, deafness will be a disadvantage. I am certain that people who submerge themselves in the Deaf community have decided to live in an environment where they do not feel at a disadvantage...entirely. Reality would dictate that Deaf individuals still need to interact with a hearing world, but the "disadvantage" factor is all in the eye of the individual acknowledging or not acknowledging the sense of disadvantage.

As the hearing mom of a deaf child, I consider the disadvantage and wanting to give my son all the power of choice in the world to never feel totally limited by environmental factors, chose the cochlear implant. Ultimately, he will choose his least restrictive environment socially and economically...only time will tell.

And...last but not least:
"I think it is wonderful that there is a support group to turn to that gives the history of the deaf and sense of pride the ASL groups intend to offer. But limit their appeal by requiring conformity..."
In an ideal world there would be no conditions placed on people and ideals, but the world is composed of diverse experiences, emotions, and demands for validation. Those vague words that you were talking about are powerful enough to break the barriers, the only question is...which language do we use?

How Does a Language Influence a Culture?

Really interesting vlog by Mike McConnell, and it was greatly appreciated by yours truly. There are many different voices in the Deaf community- it is diversity that enriches a culture. Barb Digi took the "FIX" debate a step further by expanding on and giving examples of how the word is used in the medical community and in colloquial rhetoric...
SlackinPenguin left an interesting comment:
SlackinPenguin said...
I suppose you could get away with saying "fix the ear" or you might even get away with saying "getting one's hearing fixed". However, I would think it would be a whole other thing to say, "fix one's child" or "fix a deaf child".

Know what I mean?

I know that you could find all kinds of sources around the internet that use the term "fix" in the concept we're interested in at the moment, but that doesn't make it right. I'm sure I'd have no problem finding the term "deaf mute" on the internet, but we all know that "deaf mute" is quite offensive.

We, the deaf folks, have often asked the hearing world to please not use particular terms when describing us because it offends and hurts us. Now we have parents of cochlear implanted deaf children asking us to please not use the term "fix" because it hurts and offends them. If we're going to refuse to oblige them, what leg are we going to stand on when we complain about words that describe us?

It's so nice to be stimulated intellectually after so many years of chillin' in a hole. Just the simple exchange of diverse perspectives gets my adrenaline going and surprise, surprise, I am finding a great deal of diversity on deafread.com, despite the fact that many think otherwise. Lotta great people here.

I have a question about ASL.

During this whole translation process of RALLY CAPS, from English to Italian an interesting point came up that I had never considered before the edit. In spoken and written English when the subject involves a person aside from ourself, we always pronounce or write that person's name before our own, for example:
Joe and I went for a cappuccino.
*Instead*
In Italian, they always put themselves first in a sentence:
Io e Joe siamo andati a prendere un cappuccino. (I and Joe went for a cappuccino)
Italians name themselves before all others, Americans name the other person before themselves.
Apply this to a cultural perspective. We, as Americans, always worry about the next: poor, sick, needy, countries in need, etc. it is part of our nature to put the other person's needs before our own. When we are in line at the bank, if we can't really tell who arrived first, we let the other person go ahead of us. If we are in a traffic jam and see a car needs to merge into our lane, we let them. *not trying to imply that all Americans are saints...*
But:
When you are so used to putting yourself before others linguistically speaking, how do you think that is manifested in everyday life here in Italy? I have had 85 year old women cut in front of me in the bank (don't think for a second that I haven't thought about body slamming grandma), cars cut me off on the road or make me wait twenty minutes before letting me in a traffic line - and as you can well imagine, I am an aggressive driver:)

How does a language influence a culture?
I don't know ASL, but I would be very curious to read some thoughts on this matter.

And!!!!!! I just got my copy of Josh Swiller's The Unheard...A Memoir of Deafness and Africaafter waiting three weeks...can't wait to dive into that bad boy!
And here is THE bad boy himself:

Finding Acceptance on deafread.com

Calling all radical Deaf Community members to start blasting me, sending me hate mail, telling me I'm anti-this-that-and-the-other! Just make sure you sign your name to the post, because ANONYMOUS comments just don't do it for me. Wait a second! No one has been hateful, disparaging or condescending, so what does that mean? The only vibes I've been getting are acceptance, love, passion, and THE NEED TO ASSERT A LOVE FOR ASL THAT IS A REFLECTION OF AN ENTIRE COMMUNITY. I know what it means to give up a language that is a reflection of your entire being. No one understands my sense of humor in this country, and I can assure you that everyone who knows me thinks I'm crazy.
Only when I spend thirty minutes with my Texan friend Rhonda, do I really feel understood...we speak our own common language. I kind of have truck-driver-like tendencies and in those thirty minutes, I let it all rip! Not only that, but we come from similar backgrounds, we psychologically connect. When we hang up the phone, we say "luv ya!" like I did in high school, college and before getting married and leaving all of my friends and their daily lives.
I have this middle school group of three that kills me. They listen to 50 Cent, so you can imagine the language they throw at me during our lessons. Every other word out of their mouths is "F-this," and "F-that." Once they screamed the "N****r* word -that they learned thanks to 50 Cent and asked me what it meant. How do you explain an entire history of National shame that rests behind one word to a group of twelve year olds? I feel all the negative power behind that word, that they will never be able to perceive... A couple of lessons ago, I taught them, "Talk to the Hand!" (keep in mind, I left the USA during the Rikki Lake years...omg) The other lesson, I was reviewing the present perfect tense of verbs and one of the boys told the other that he was an idiot, so this guy threw up his hand and responded, "Talk My Hand!" I don't even know how he remembered that -Oh gosh, I was on the floor. Then, I corrected him, and he said, "If I write the word "stupid" on my hand and throw it up again, wouldn't it be even more effective?" I thought that was kind of an interesting take on the whole thing. Anyway, there is a point here, although I think I've lost it...Oh yeah, languages, cultures behind the language, emotions and cultures behind the languages...and so on...
I did not let the Italian language barrier stop me from adapting this lifestyle to meet my needs and enrich me. A language barrier is a strong obstacle to overcome because there are so many subtleties in a language as rich as Italian. There is a history behind that language and emotions attached to every word. Luckily, I find myself in Tuscany where their mouths are as foul as mine:) and I have had the opportunity to meet exceptional people, diverse and accepting of my family.

Not being able to adequately express myself in the beginning was very frustrating to me, especially given the fact that my son had urgent needs that needed to be met. I rolled up my sleeves and dove into the language to learn it as quickly as possible. My family could not communicate with my son, because they did not take it upon themselves to learn Italian (although my Mom and stepfather did attend a course for four weeks that they eventually abandoned)- they formed their own communication system of broken English, choppy Italian and gestures.

Do I know ASL? No. Do I need ASL to function in my everyday life? No. Would learning ASL enrich my life? Without a doubt and the fact that it is directly associated to deafness makes it all the more appetizing to me given the fact that my son is deaf...that's why I'm here. Although Jordan doesn't sign, he is deaf. Although I must speak Italian every day, all day, I am American - English is my native language. I understand how a common language can represent a culture, but it should not represent a barrier that limits that culture from growing.

As an aside, I finally had a morning free, so I spent it getting highlights and coloring my hair. I was sitting in the hairdresser's when my cell phone rang. It was Jordan. "Mamma, please come and pick me up from school. I don't feel well." Well, I had the color on my hair and was hardly in a position to leave, so I asked, "What's wrong?" He said, " I don't want to talk about it over the phone, just come and get me." "Jordan," I said, "unless you are vomitting or have a high fever, I can not come and get you. What is the problem?" His voice then got really small, sad and pathetic and I'm thinking, oh shit, what is the problem..."Mom, they had the class representative elections again and I didn't win. MY HEART IS CRYING." Drama. Feeling rejected...another heart-wrenching mom moment where you have to let him suffer to help him grow. "Jordan," I explained, "you were already elected class representative for four months, it's someone else's turn. This doesn't mean that your classmates don't love you, it just means that someone else has to have a turn." How do you talk to a crying heart by phone? I told him to pass me the phone to the custodian who understood what was happening and reassured me that she would let him stay there a little bit to help him pull himself together. The good news: my son can talk on a cell phone to me and cry his heart out sincerely. The bad news: I am a Mamma, hear me suffer. The best news: when I came home from my hair appointment (lookin' hot)I found Jordan calmly eating lunch with Luca, and now he's on his way to his guitar lesson...