Sunday, November 28, 2010

I Love the Smell of Coffee

The idea of starting a new book, of staring at that first blank page is oppressive.
Somehow, the short, blank blog page smiles at me when I come to put thoughts to air, and it heals.
But...I'm starting to get that write a book itch.
Rally Caps came at the conclusion of a life-phase, at the beginning of a deep breath called live again, directly related to Jordan's cochlear-implant inspired freedom.
I've just started to inhale after life-phase: separation. This inhale is totally independent of my children's well-being and is directly related to my own, personal hurricane-like need to break out of imaginary bars. Kind of like a self-created breathe freely sign. That I would like to share with anyone willing to listen.
It began on Sofa Bed Island.
Hit rock bottom on a can of soup a day.
Bounced up and down with each Dragon slayed and Lion tamed.
And hit the horizon when round 10 ended in a mutually agreed upon draw based on live, love and proceed.
So...now, if I could just put all of that down in words.

Words that would provoke a cathartic experience enabling the reader to actually see the eighty-five year old woman walking and struggling with the two three gallon jugs of laundry detergent...actually see her and gently relieve her of those heavy items for the remainder of the walk to her car;

or to hear the child - without tuning her out- whining in the backseat of the car because her shirt got caught in her seatbelt, so that she tragically couldn't reach her gameboy that had fallen on the floor;

or to actually, consciously feel that your son needs a hug, maybe just for the fact that your sensitive, independent son realizes that you need a hug, too.

Yesterday, Jordan and I went to eat a pizza together and then to see Harry Potter. Two and a half hours later, I couldn't resist, I HAD to go to the bathroom. Four and a half minutes later, I headed back to the theater to see everyone leaving. I peeked inside to find Jordan, but he had gone. I turned back around and he was pointing and laughing at me. He then proceeded to explain the last two minutes of HP. Something about a wand, a tomb and an explosion. And that it wasn't the official end, that we have to wait until July. He loved that I missed the end.
I kind of like the irony of sitting through a two and a half hour movie to miss seeing the end of the movie that was not the end.
Love that.
I already know how my book will end.

3 comments:

Debbie said...

I, for one, cannot wait to read your book!!! You can't help but pour yourself into anything you do with a style and energy all your own. Get to it sister and amaze us all -- including yourself. I also can't wait to see the movie of the book -- I hope we can get someone like Sandra Bullock or Gwyneth to play you;)) xoxo

Jodi Michelle Cutler said...

Hahahahahah...spectacular! The next time you see Sandra on the red carpet, after she compliments you on your dress and asks you for the name of your designer...give her the heads up!
LOL...love youuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Спасибо понравилось !