Sunday, February 28, 2010

*I GIVE UP*

 
My friend Sonia, her daughter Federica, Sofia and I were hanging out in Jordan's room reviewing her multiplication tables. Sofia's innate ability for manipulating people and situations in her favor never ceases to amaze me, really. When she wants something, she has this tongue that psychologically attempts to destroy her prey, and she finds the solution to the problem. Multiplication tables are a bit different, either you know the solution...or you don't.

Problem number 1: Sofia would like to have a friend come over to play and my response is no.
- "Mommy, can I call Chiara?"
- "Jordan has a friend over and I don't."
- "I finished all my homework."
- "Don't you love your daughter?"
- "You had a friend come over today, Mommy."
- "If I have a friend over then you can do your work in peace."

Ok, Sofia, call Chiara.

Problem number 2: 4x7=?

- 27?
- "I give up!"

I look at my daughter. She stares back at me waiting for me to give her the answer.
I say, "WHO IN YOUR LIFE HAS EVER SAID THOSE WORDS TO YOU AND MAY THEY NEVER COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AGAIN!?"
She continues staring.
I turn red, "YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD THOSE WORDS COME OUT OF MY MOUTH, NOR WILL YOU EVER, BECAUSE THEY ARE WORSE THAN CURSE WORDS AND GROUNDS FOR AN IMMEDIATE WASHING OUT OF THE MOUTH WITH SOAP."
She begins squirming.
I say, "Today I worked, mowed the lawn, cleaned the house, ran four loads of laundry, had friends over for both you and Jordan and go to battle every single day because I must be able to shop for cute clothes for you, and you have the nerve to say I GIVE UP!?"

So, she turns to Sonia, who had been talking to her daughter during this tirade, and asks, "Sonia, what's 4x7?"
Sonia replies, "28."

Sofia looks at me, smiles and smugly says,"I'm sorry Mommy, the answer's 28."

She is my daughter.

3 comments:

Paula Rosenthal said...

She is HYSTERICAL!!! Love it. :)

Val said...

hahahaha, i have a feeling you soooo deserve her, every ounce...love it!

Anonymous said...

OMG I so agree with Val. She is definitely your daughter. What a girl. Wait a minute, did I hear the words Wash Your Mouth Out With Soap? No couldn't have. Not from you. The daughter who blamed me my whole life. Starting to relate. Welcome to motherhood. Felt a little frustrated did you. She didn't even say the nasty. Love You, Mommy