Carol Brady

When I became a mom I had no idea how to change a diaper. Jordan wouldn't latch on and I returned to work after six weeks. It was not an easy beginning.
Somehow, through all the chaos, mistakes and exhaustion, he still recognized me as his mom.
It took him eighteen months to say Mamma, but it didn't matter- from the moment of his diagnosis, I was his Mamma. How cute he was dressed, showing him off in our walks to the park and worrying about how much he ate no longer mattered, we were on a mission for his life- from age 12 months.

Sofia was born independent, she taught herself to sleep in her own bed through the night and was potty trained at 15 months. For a certain period of time, she called me her daughter:-) I put a stop to that, but it kind of gives you an idea as to her level of maturity at an early age.

Two days ago we had an IEP meeting for Jordan. 10 Professors, a psychiatrist, Luca and me battling for Jordan.
Four days ago I took Sofia to talk to a child psychiatrist to make sure she was okay with all the changes happening around her. He told us she's okay, but Luca and I are going to speak to him to make sure we're okay with all the changes happening around and inside us.

We can't always predict what's coming around the next curve and we can't always escape the blow, but as mothers we can certainly try to soften it and admit it's there.

Throughout everything MY MOTHER is just a phone call away. I don't always agree with her advice, I don't always take it well, but it's there. Her advice, her love is ALWAYS there.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms who are human, who make mistakes, who cook, clean and iron...and to those who don't make mistakes, who don't cook and who don't clean and never iron....because at the end of the day when you realize you've left him in a dirty diaper for way too long...and you feel like the worst Mom in the world...you change that diaper, give him a bath and extra snuggles.
And he snuggles you back.

The Difference in Music Perception: HAs and CIs....A lil G N' R!

One of the members of the Italian forum posted this video to explain the different ways of hearing music by means of hearing aids or cochlear implant. I happen to love Guns N' Roses, so I found it more effective and interesting than the other "comparisons" out there that I've already listened to in the great attempt at understanding exactly what and how Jordan hears.
Enjoy:-)

Blind Faith

Have you ever been so swept away that you kind of take a leave of absence to experience a different type of reality only to have something happen that slams your feet right back on the ground?
That happened.
And what I discovered was that my feet have always been on the ground and that the ground is still there.
That...is a powerful sensation.

When you try to begin a relationship at age 40, both of you have baggage. So, when confronting an unpleasant or unexpected situation that springs itself upon you unexpectedly, it's logical that your reaction is based on that baggage.
I did a lot of work at the end of my marriage trying to figure out who I am and what I'm all about.
Going through that process can be painful, but if you do it in an honest way, if you live your life in an honest way...no one can touch you. No one can try to turn you into a victim.
The only person who can allow yourself to be a victim is you.


Anyway, life's little moments or setbacks can oftentimes offer great insight to how far you've progressed on that road that you chose, even when you had no idea in what direction you were heading.

Popcorn...just because

Sometimes, living my life is like watching a film. Or maybe I get that feeling when I write about it.
And it's been a while since I've checked in.

Jordan went on a class trip by plane to Sicily for four days-three nights.
He survived, returned with gifts for all and a bunch of amazing pix, but some of the moments weren't so easy for him.
Full-blown adolescence has struck our home.
I'm dealing with one minute- Mom, I need you and the next minute Mom, get out of my room I want to be alone. I'm schizophrenic enough as it is without the added confusion.
He needs to react, but the ability to react to a given situation must come from within. I can help, but I am limited.
Tug-o-war moment between Jordan and himself typical of what your average 15 year hormonal teen goes through, only I was the female version and can never seem to find the words that heal or help.

I don't do impotence very well. But I'm trying.

Sofia is growing up as only Sofia does. The other day my friend whose daughter is best friends with Sofia, told me they were walking in the center of our small town, when an old man yelled to Sofia's friend, "There goes the little girl with the high heels!"
Sofia replied, "Look there's the old man with the dentures!"
Needless to say, I was happy I was not present at that precise moment.
She's currently working on a Math problem regarding meters, kilometers, etc and she asked me for help. I flunked the metric system in Elementary School:-)

I'm trying to balance kids, work and love...because as I am learning...I need love in my life.
As far as that goes, he's introducing me to a lot of first times like motorcycle rides, real coconuts, etc - the other day he surprised me with a bag filled with a sandwich-toaster toaster and the thing that swirls around to dry the lettuce for your salad, so it doesn't get soggy.


I believe he's trying to domesticate me:-)

Two HUGE congresses are up-and-coming...the FCEI in Austria and the NHS 2012 in Cernobbio, Lake Como...preparing presentations for both and so, so excited to see the GPOD- once upon a time, a long time ago, we had a talk under a tree and believed that the system should listen to parents.
The system is listening....