AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I must be 1-800-Suffer. My last three calls have been from crying mothers who need a swift kick in the ass. I'm pretty sure I could use one too, actually. My iPod is the greatest cure for stress ever. I've said this before, but I never went through a grieving period when Jordan was diagnosed, I just went into action. Come to think of it, I have never truly let myself grieve for any really difficult moment in my life. I am grieving now for the first time and I have all of these horrifying sensations of fragility, weakness and suffering. I guess I'm human. It must be part of the growth process...growing pains. Luckily, I am surrounded by people who love me. I feel like an energy-sucker, but I have to help all of these other people who need to suck my energy. It's a vicious cycle.
The most beautiful part of support groups is when a mom who you've followed through painful moments, posts this:
I can't believe this happened!
I was sitting downstairs on the couch about an hour ago and I heard Miss Kat
messing around with something. I hollered at her and she walked downstairs and
asked me what I needed! Seriously?!? She heard ( and understood) that I said her
name and told her to "come here"?
Wow...
Love that Miss Kat's Mom!
The ups and downs are all part of difficult moments in life, it's maintaining an equilibrium and a sense of priorities that represent the greatest challenges.
*Working on that*
Strangely enough, it's Jordan who's helping me achieve that. Well, he went on his overnight hotel stay to Genova. I've been posting updates on facebook...so funny. He called from the bus, the concert, the aquarium, the hotel, the street...everywhere! Little man on the loose- have cell phone, will call.
He said, "Mamma, ti voglio bene!" (Mamma, I love you!) at least twenty times over the past two days. He kept me informed as to who was puking, who was crazy in the hotel and let me know (proud as hell) that he went to sleep at 1 am. Note: I've been teaching enough crazy Italians to know exactly what goes on on these field trips- two of my girls just went on an 8-day cruise to Greece as a school trip. Anyway, he returned home last night at 10:30 pm. with presents for all, another "I love you," and "goodnight!"
It's 10:03 am. and he's still sleeping.
I am so proud of that boy!
