Friday, December 30, 2011

Sometimes the things we can't change, end up changing us

2011 has come to an end.
2012 is about to begin.
I am having an emotional breakdown.
No idea why, but the tears just will not stop streaming.
I have the sensation that I have just completed an enormous project and that what is staring me in the face is five times bigger.
To not become completely overwhelmed, I look to the simple, the easy, the beautiful.

My kids.

Sofia will be 9 tomorrow and she amazes me every single day.
Jordan is 15 and we fight at least once a day.

We are building something together and maybe one day we'll be able to sit down together and discover what exactly that is...together. I imagine they'll reach that age where they see me as a person and not a mom and hope that while they yell and complain that I was on the computer too much, they'll smile as they remember a neighborhood watergun fight at midnight on a hot summer night.

Have you ever been totally conscious of every single step you take as you are climbing a staircase- because you're afraid you'll trip and fall and break an ankle?

Try smiling and looking the person coming down the staircase in the eyes, noticing the color of the painted walls, clenching tightly your children's hands so they don't fall as you climb and planning your day as you are being totally conscious of every single step you take....and not pass out when you reach the top.

And if you do reach the top without passing out, you just may cry.
As you realize that another flight of stairs awaits you.


I think it sounds kind of important.

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